


Take Me Home To My Heart

by halfsweet



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dysfunctional Relationships, M/M, Memory Loss, Repressed Memories, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-04-11 18:15:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4446620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfsweet/pseuds/halfsweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete and Patrick have always been unhappy with each other. Nevertheless, they still stick together and pretend to be the perfect couple their friends thought they always were. But when an accident happens, their relationship changes drastically.</p><p>-</p><p>"Go ahead. If you step out that door, don't fucking ever come back."</p><p>"Watch me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So instead of finishing Chip My Heart, this happened.

"Happy birthday, Pete!"

Pete grins as everyone cheers, throwing confetti all around. His birthday party is off to a great start, all his friends are there with him, and he has a huge birthday cake waiting to be cut and eaten.

"Come on, Patrick! Give the birthday boy his birthday kiss!"

He hears Patrick laughs beside him and he steps closer to the younger man, amused at his flustered face. "He's right, babe. Give the birthday man his birthday kiss," Pete coos.

Patrick tilts his head and pecks his cheek, grinning up at him. "Happy birthday, Pete," he greets.

"Really, Patrick? Is that the best you can do?"

Pete grins again when Patrick shyly looks at him, standing on his toes and kissing him, only breaking away when everyone around them cheers and whistles.

"Let the party begin!" Pete hollers, signaling the DJ to start spinning some songs. When everyone begins to enjoy themselves, Pete turns to Patrick, leaning down to whisper in his ear. "Just so you know, that was the worst kiss ever."

"Yeah, well, God knows where your mouth has been," Patrick smiles sweetly at him. "If you're done, I'd like to get something to drink."

Pete grips him by his hip before he can get away. "Babe," he says loudly, no longer whispering, "stay with me until the party ends." He smirks when Patrick sends a glare in his direction. He knows Patrick will never say no if there's people around them.

"Sure thing,  _baby_ ," Patrick says through gritted teeth, still smiling at Pete. "Anything for you."

Pete squeezes his hip and narrows his eyes. "Watch the attitude,  _babe_."

The party goes by smoothly on Pete's behalf. Patrick, true to his words- no matter how begrudging, sticks by his side the entire time, entertaining the guests along with Pete.

"Thank you for coming." Patrick waves as the last guest leaves the house. Pete closes the door and walks to the living room without a glance at the other man.

"Good acting, as usual," Patrick mutters as he begins to clean up the mess left behind by the guests. "It doesn't kill you to help, you know."

"Just let the maids clean them tomorrow morning," Pete replies nonchalantly, plopping down on the sofa. He raises an eyebrow when Patrick stands in front of him, crossing his arms and glaring down at him.

"You're despicable, you know that? You didn't have to keep me next to you the whole time. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I have some other guests to entertain?"

"What other guests? They're all here to see me, not you," Pete snorts and props his legs on the coffee table, hitting Patrick in the process.

"I'm not your fucking prize for you to show off to other people," Patrick growls.

Pete gets up from his seat and strides towards Patrick, standing straight in front of him. "Careful, babe. Your mouth always gets you in trouble."

" _You're_  the only one that gets me in trouble." Patrick shoves his chest and turns around to walk away. He stops in his track and yelps in pain when Pete grips his hair, pulling him back and kissing him. It's a rough kiss, teeth and tongues clashing, and Pete pulls away when they need to breathe. He licks his lip at the sight of Patrick in front of him.

He pushes Patrick to the wall, pinning his wrists above his head and palming him through his pants. He smirks as Patrick whimpers under his touch. "Look at you, getting all hard already. I wonder how many people you've spread your legs wide for," he presses harder and Patrick lets out a loud moan, then he leans in and whispers next to his ear, "like a little slut that you always are. Begging to be fucked harder, faster, begging to come."

He smirks again when Patrick manages to break free of his hold and shoves him away, panting and glaring up at him, face flushed red with anger and humiliation. "How does it feel knowing that I ruined you for everyone? You can't even get hard for anyone but me," Pete taunts him.

"At least I don't have fucking diseases. Do you even use condoms when you fucked those people, Pete? I bet you don't. I bet you're gonna die early and miserable, and no one will come to your funeral because you're a fuck up," Patrick spits. "Always have, always will. They only stay for your money, Pete. They don't love you. No one loves you."

"Shut up," Pete hisses, stepping closer to Patrick. "Like you're any better. Your family kicked you out. If it weren't for me, you'd have died on the streets a long time ago."

"I have friends. Who do you have, Pete? No one. You pay people to be your friends. You have whores for friends. You're so fucking pathetic, Pete, it's disgusting. So desperate for-"

A sharp noise resonates all over the room, and Pete stares at Patrick wide eyed. Neither open their mouth, only the sound of their breathing fills the silence. He watches as a small smile makes its way on Patrick's face.

"Does that make you feel good, Pete?" Patrick asks as he slowly raises his hand to cup his reddened cheek, looking up at Pete. "How long have you been holding that in?"

"You went overboard," Pete says quietly. The force of the slap was so hard Pete can see his palm imprint on Patrick's cheek, stark red against his pale skin.

"At least I didn't hit anyone."

Pete runs his fingers through his hair, sighing frustratingly. "This is stupid. I'm going to bed."

He pauses when Patrick juts his chin forward with a determined look on his face. "You're right. This is stupid. I'm done with this, with us," he says calmly and walks past Pete.

"What are you talking about?" Pete narrows his eyes at the blond man, his eyes following Patrick's movement. "You can't leave, Patrick. You know you can't survive out there without me."

"Fuck you, Wentz. You're just scared that you'll be living alone, with no one to sing you fucking lullabies when you're having your episodes. I'm leaving."

Pete turns around, crossing his arms and eyeing Patrick as he nears the front door. "Go ahead. If you step out that door, don't fucking ever come back."

Patrick smirks at him before opening the door. "Watch me."

The moment Patrick walks out the door, Pete feels as if something has just been ripped away from him.

-

Pete stares at his phone. Patrick has been gone for twelve hours and he hasn't contacted him once. As much as he hates to admit, Pete's beginning to worry about Patrick.

His phone rings in his hand and sees the caller ID, feeling slightly down when the name that comes up isn't the one he's been expecting. "Joe?"

_"Pete- Pete, Patrick's been in an accident."_

-

Pete rushes towards the operating room, where Joe and Andy are already waiting, both sporting anxious looks on their faces.

"What happened? How did he get into an accident?" The questions come out rushed from Pete's mouth, and he grips Andy for balance, trying to catch his breath.

"I- I don't know. I was at the restaurant, and there was, this- this loud crash and everyone went outside, and I tried to look, and," Joe sighs and slumps forward in his seat, burying his face in his hands, "and I saw Patrick. Laying on the ground, bleeding…"

He watches as Andy pats Joe on the back, soothing him. Pete takes a seat next to Joe and closes his eyes, thumping his head back against the wall. He should've seen it coming. Patrick should've seen it coming. Pete  _knows_  Patrick wouldn't last in the outside world without Pete, Patrick was too sheltered and too fragile for it. He saw how broken Patrick looked when Pete met him on a roadside one night.

Pete loses track on how many hours they have sat by the operating room, but when a doctor walks out from the room, the three of them immediately jump to him.

Joe is the first person to open his mouth. "How is he?"

"He's stable." The doctor looks at them. "Good thing you brought him in time."

The sighs of relief from Joe and Andy are audible to them, even in their tired state. "So, can we see him?" Pete asks.

"Well," the doctor glances at a clock hanging on the wall, "give it a day. You can come tomorrow, he needs rest anyway. You three also look like you could use some sleep."

When the doctor leaves, Pete collapses down on a chair, relieved that Patrick is still alive. He raises his head when Andy taps him on the shoulder. "Go home, Pete. We'll see him again tomorrow."

"Yeah," Pete mumbles, flicking his gaze to the door of the operating room before standing up to leave with Joe and Andy.

-

Days have come and gone, but Patrick still has yet to wake up. Pete starts to feel restless, but he remembers when the doctor said that Patrick is stable. He probably just needs a lot of time to heal himself, Pete assures himself. Which is why he can't help the relieved sigh when he sees the doctor's beaming face one day.

"I have a good news for you. Mister Stump has awaken," the doctor smiles at them. Pete smiles back, glad to hear the news, and turns to look at Joe and Andy, who are looking happy as well.

"We can see him now, right?" Joe asks, excitement evident in his voice.

"Don't let me stop you." The doctor beams and walks away. Pete watches as Joe and Andy walk to the door. He doesn't know how to face Patrick after their last fight. He's sure they've broken up, but after the accident, he's not so sure anymore.

"What are you waiting for?" Pete snaps out of his thought and sees both Joe and Andy staring at him.

"No, you guys go ahead first. Just… give me a few minutes." Pete sits down and fiddles with his fingers, looking at the floor. Joe and Andy shrug and open the door, walking into the room. Pete can hear their voices even from outside, though slightly faded.

"Andy! Joe!"

He sighs at the sound of Patrick's voice. Patrick seems fine, happy even, as if he didn't get into an accident, as if he wasn't unconscious for almost a week. As if he didn't walk out on Pete.

Patrick's probably happy now that he's free from Pete. Pete scoffs at the thought. He was right when he said Patrick won't survive without him. Just one day away from Pete, and he had already gotten himself into an accident.

He stands up and takes a deep breath. He needs to face Patrick whether he wants to or not, or else everyone will start asking him things. He drags his feet into the room and sees Patrick sitting up on the bed, merrily chatting with the other two occupants. Andy notices his presence in the room and nudges Joe on the side, who turns to look at him.

"Looks like you've got another visitor. See you soon, okay, Patrick?" Joe pats him on the head and walks to the door with Andy.

Once they are left alone, Pete closes the door and strolls inside, standing at the foot of the bed. He watches as the other man stares unblinkingly at him, eyes wide.

"You okay?" Pete asks, breaking the silent atmosphere.

Patrick nods slowly, still staring at him. Pete's feeling unnerved under his gaze, but Patrick soon smiles at him. Pete finds himself smiling back at him. He can't remember the last time Patrick smiled at him. They're always at each other's throats whenever they see one another, and frowns and scowls seem to be their default expressions.

"Um, hey," Patrick calls him, pulling him out of his thoughts. Pete just hums in question, noting how Patrick looks nervous and jittery.

"So, um," Patrick looks down at the bed sheet and clears his throat before looking up at Pete nervously. Pete furrows his eyebrow in confusion at him.

"Uh, pardon me for asking, but do I know you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I re-read this, I can't help but think that this sounds almost similar to I've Never Lit A Match, especially the hospital scene. Tell me what you think about this piece.
> 
> And happy birthday to me! This is a birthday gift from me to you guys. Thank you for supporting my works.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow this piece is harder than I thought.

"What?" Pete blinks at him.

"Do I know you? Like, have we met before?" Patrick clarifies, scratching the back of his neck. "Somewhere?"

Pete gapes at him, speechless. The doctor didn't say anything about Patrick having amnesia, and Patrick remembered Joe and Andy just fine, so he's clueless as to how Patrick doesn't remember him.

"I'm your-" Pete pauses. Boyfriend? Ex? If he were to say one of those, he's certain the situation will make them awkward from that moment on. "Roommate. I'm your roommate," he finishes.

He watches as Patrick's eyes light up, excited. "We live together? You mean, my parents finally let me out of the house on my own? Cool!"

"Yeah," Pete mumbles as Patrick continues to chatter with childlike enthusiasm. It seems to him that Patrick also doesn't remember the part where he was kicked out by his family, and it pains him to see Patrick this…  _carefree_.

"Hey," Pete interrupts him mid-sentence. "I have to get going. You, uh, be good." He makes his way to the door and stops when Patrick calls him. "Wait, I don't know your name."

Pete looks at Patrick over his shoulder, taking in his curious look. "Pete."

"See you again, Pete." Patrick smiles and waves, and Pete slips out of the room without exchanging another word. He sees Joe and Andy waiting outside and nods at them.

"That was a short visit," Andy comments.

Pete shrugs and looks both sides of the hallway. "I need to see the doctor. Why don't you keep Patrick company while I go find him?"

"Something wrong with Patrick?" Joe immediately asks, and Pete detects the traces of concern in his voice. He shakes his head at the younger man. "I need to find the doctor now. See you guys later."

"I'm coming with you," Andy stops him. Pete is about to argue, but he knows better than to do so with Andy. If he did, then he would only raise questions from both Joe and Andy. Better one person than two, Pete thinks to himself. "Yeah, sure."

-

"Oh, it's you two." The doctor smiles when both Pete and Andy approach him. "You're friends with the patient… Mister Stump, am I correct?"

"I have a question to ask," Pete states, eyes fixed on the doctor. The doctor glances between the two and nods, a serious expression now on his face. "Is something the matter?"

"The patient- Patrick, he's- are you sure there's nothing wrong with him?" Pete asks, ignoring Andy's befuddled look.

"As far as I'm concerned, nothing's wrong with him. I've run a full diagnosis on him, and he's as healthy as he can be. What's wrong?"

Pete swallows the uneasiness away. "His memory is still intact?"

"Very much. He remembers his identity, his birthday, his family. He's got the year right. He didn't suffer much damage to his head to actually cause amnesia."

"Then why doesn't he remember me?" Pete blurts out before he can help himself. He's now aware of Andy's shocked expression.

"He what?" Andy gapes. "Pete, he- he doesn't remember you?"

Pete looks down at his shoes, not looking at Andy. "I'm sorry, Pete…"

"Yeah," Pete mumbles under his breath.

"Well then, I'll check on him as soon as I'm done with my other patients. Is that okay?" The doctor pats him on the shoulder. Pete nods at him and watches as the doctor walks away, then turns his attention to Andy. "Are you heading back to Patrick?"

"Yeah. Are you?" Andy quirks his eyebrow at him, but Pete looks at the wall across him. "I don't know…"

"Come on. We'll see him for a few minutes, then we'll leave, okay? This must have been hard on you."

Pete can only nod at Andy's words, but Pete can't help feeling guilty. Truth be told, the fact that Patrick doesn't remember him doesn't hit him as hard as it should be.

-

"Andy! Pete! You're back!"

If it weren't for the fact that Patrick has lost his memories of him, Pete's face would have split into two by how huge his grin would be. Patrick sounds genuinely happy to see him, something Pete hasn't heard in a while.

"Joe!" Patrick turns to the curly haired man next to him, "Andy! You guys, have you met my roommate? Did you know my parents actually let me venture out?"

"Roommate?"

Pete tenses next to Andy, silently praying that neither Joe nor Andy would press the matter further.

"Yeah!" Patrick beams, and Pete holds his breath when Patrick directs his gaze to him. "Pete! Tell 'em!"

"Yeah, roommate," Pete mumbles. He can already feel the endless stream of questions being fired at him when they leave the hospital.

-

As soon as they leave the hospital, Joe is the first person to ask. "Okay. What was that about? Roommate? Pete, what the hell?"

Pete lets out an exasperated sigh and walks faster to his car, eager to leave so he doesn't have to answer any questions he doesn't know the answers to. "I don't know, okay? Just play along, would you?"

Joe grabs his arm and Pete is pulled back. He releases his arm from Joe's grip and huffs. "Look, he doesn't remember me, it's no big deal."

"It  _is_  a big deal," Joe stresses. "Pete, you're his boyfriend."

Pete keeps his lips pressed tight. He doesn't know how to break it to them that he and Patrick have been pretending for almost half a year.

"Fine," Joe sighs and gives Pete a quick hug. "If you need someone to talk to, we're always available."

"We mean it, Pete. You can always talk to us." Andy squeezes his shoulder and smiles.

Pete smiles back at them and nods, waving them a goodbye and heads to his car. He knows Joe and Andy mean well, but there are just some things that are meant to be kept as secrets.

-

Pete walks into his bedroom and sits down on the bed, glancing around in the room. Almost all of Patrick's stuff are inside the bedroom. Patrick had unofficially moved into the room when they got together, and even after their relationship turned sour, Pete still wonders why they still sleep in the same bed.

He stands up and makes his way to the wardrobe, opening it. His clothes are mixed together with Patrick's, and Pete can't remember which clothes belong to whom after years of living together.

He takes out Patrick's clothes from the closet and places them on the bed. He has told Patrick that they're roommates, and he doesn't think Patrick would think of it the same way as he does.

He also doesn't realize how much clothes Patrick has until he has sorted everything out. He scoops up as much as he can in his arms and carries them into an empty guest room, repeating the action until all of Patrick's clothes have been transferred.

He takes a break and looks around the guest room. Patrick used to sleep in the room when Pete took him in. He sighs and begins to arrange the clothes to put them in the closet. With Patrick losing his memory of him, Pete wonders if everything between them would change, even though Pete can tell that it already has.

-

He strolls into Patrick's room in the hospital the next morning. He slumps his shoulder in relief when he sees the doctor checking up on the sleeping Patrick. Now's the perfect moment to ask, Pete thinks.

"Good morning," the doctor smiles and nods at him.

Pete nods back and walks further into the room. "Is he okay?"

"He's still sleeping. Looks like he needs more rest than I thought," the doctor comments. The corner of Pete's lips quirk upwards. Nobody knows that Patrick usually doesn't wake up that early in the morning.

"So, um, about yesterday," Pete begins, and the doctor looks at him, humming and gesturing for him to continue.

"I just don't get why he doesn't remember me. He remembers our friends just fine." Pete shoves his hands in the pocket of his jeans. He isn't going to deny being slighly hurt over it.

"Before the accident happened, was he in a traumatized situation? Stressful, maybe?"

Pete thinks back to the night when they had their last fight. They were exchanging bitter words, and somehow Patrick's words cut him deep and without thinking, he had raised his hand and hit Patrick. He winces as he remembers the stinging pain in his palm and the shocked look on Patrick's face, and Patrick walked out after.

Pete widens his eyes.  _Patrick walked out._  He was outside on his own in the middle of the night, and that should have been more than traumatized and stressful. He recalled Patrick having nightmares almost every night for a month since Pete found him battered by the roadside one night.

"I… yeah," Pete nods. "A little bit of both."

"I see." Pete watches as the doctor scribbles down on his clipboard before looking up at him. "I know what the problem is now."

Pete's eyebrows shoot up into his hairline, curious. "What is it?"

"Dissociative amnesia, or more specifically, systematized amnesia. It's a loss of memory for a specific category of information. It's not really a memory loss like the usual amnesia, it's more like the memories are repressed." The doctor explains, and Pete soaks in the information.

"What causes this… amnesia?"

"Well, like I stated earlier, stress or traumatic experiences, or internal conflicts. It happens when a person wants to block out a certain information, usually linked with a stressful or traumatic event."

Pete hums and looks at Patrick, sleeping on the bed. He turns back to the doctor when he realizes something. "You said a specific category of information. Is it possible that he remembers everything, but still missing all memories about a specific person?"

"Yes, it is possible." The doctor nods.  
  
"So… he can remember everything but me?"

The doctor only looks at him in pity. "I'm sorry."

Pete sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, glancing at the sleeping man on the bed. "I'm sorry, too."

"I'll be taking my leave now. If you have any questions, feel free to ask." The doctor pats his back and exits the room, leaving the door ajar. Pete peeks out from inside the room and his heart almost jumps out of his chest when he sees Andy outside. He swallows at Andy's unreadable expression. There's no doubt that Andy might have heard everything.

"What kind of  _traumatized and stressful situation_  Patrick was in, Pete?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. Like I said, it's hard to write this particular piece. But I promise it will get better!
> 
> It took me days of research to get this chapter started. After the first chapter is posted, I've only realized I should have done research _before_ posting Chapter 1 because I wasn't even sure if that kind of amnesia exists. But it does! So, lesson learned. 
> 
> Always do your research before you start writing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, God, when was the last time I updated this?

"There's no-"

"I hope you're telling the truth, Pete." Andy states and walks into the room, closing the door gently behind him. "Because I can tell when people are lying."

Pete keeps his mouth shut, thinking of his next move carefully. He knows that Andy suspects something between them, and Andy has always been fiercely protective of Patrick. His eyes flicks over to where Patrick is sleeping, and he lets out a sigh. There's no way they can hide the true nature of their relationship from everyone, especially Andy.

"Not here." Pete finally says. He takes a deep breath and turns to look at Andy. "I'll tell you, but not here. And no one will know about this."

Andy opens his mouth to speak, but Pete cuts him off in urgency. "No one. Not even Joe, not even Patrick himself. Especially not Patrick."

Andy closes his mouth again and gives him a small nod. "Patrick's still sleeping, and Joe has work today. Let's talk in the cafeteria."

Pete starts to walk out the door, and Andy follows him quietly from behind. Neither open their mouth the entire walk to the cafeteria, the atmosphere between them too tense to cut.

-

Pete still hasn't figured out what to say when they've reached the cafeteria. He even tries to stall some time by stopping to buy coffee, but Andy has that look on his face that Pete can't escape from.

"You know you gotta tell me sooner or later, so you might as well tell me now."

Pete gives out a defeated sigh as he finds an empty table for them. He doesn't look up at Andy, just keeps his gaze focused on the cup of coffee in his hand.

He doesn't want to find out Andy's reaction after he tells the story.

"We're not together," he begins, pausing to let Andy say something. Andy doesn't, and Pete knows that Andy's the type who listens to the whole story before he gives out his opinions.

"We've been pretending for the last few months. We're just- we're always fighting lately. That night, we were having another fight," Pete swallows and swirls the coffee, and continues with a quiet voice, omitting the part where he hit Patrick. "He walked out after that, and I hadn't seen him until Joe called me."

He dares himself to take a peek at Andy, who has his poker face on, but Pete notices the slight furrowing of the eyebrows.

"You mean to tell me that Patrick went outside, in the middle of the night,  _alone_?"

Pete winces at the tone of Andy's voice. Before he can say anything else, Andy interrupts him.

"And you didn't go look for him? Pete, you  _know_  what happens if he's alone outside. You saw how Patrick was that night. Shit, Pete, you know Patrick can barely take care of himself, why didn't you go look for him?" Andy finishes with a frown.

While Pete has never seen Andy getting angry, he knows that Andy's upset right now. "I just… didn't expect him to really leave."

"Well, he did, and you can't change that fact."

Sighing, Pete takes a sip of his coffee and nods solemnly. "I know."

"I'm honestly surprised that you two can pretend to date when you've broken up," Andy comments.

Andy's words seem to be a trigger, because the moment Andy says them, Pete finally realizes something. Before he can finish his thoughts, the other man voices them out.

"You two didn't break up, did you?"

The way Andy says them so bluntly terrifies Pete in the slightest. Andy is being too calm about the situation.

"Not really…" Pete finally says, then raises his head to look at Andy. "Aren't you supposed to be, I don't know, angry or something?"

"I have no say in your relationship with Patrick. That's none of my business." Andy says, and Pete can feel a 'but' coming. "But I'm just upset that you two kept this a secret for so long.  _From your own friends_."

"We just didn't want anyone to worry," Pete mumbles from his seat. "You guys seem happy that we're happy, so we decided to just keep up with the act."

"Pete," Andy sighs, nudging Pete with his foot. "Do you think we'll be happy if you and Patrick are not happy? Do you think we'll be happy if you keep secrets from us?"

"I guess not." Pete drowns the cup of coffee in one go and attempts to smile at the other man. "Sorry."

"No more secrets." Andy states firmly, raising an eyebrow at Pete, who nods in return. "No more secrets."

"Good. Let's go check on Patrick. He's supposed to be discharged anytime soon."

-

They walk back into Patrick's room, finding that he has already awaken and is talking with the doctor from earlier. The doctor notices their presence and nods at them in greeting, smiling.

"Looks like our young man here is fine and healthy. He can go home today." The doctor says to them, and Pete can't help but smile at Patrick's eager face. "Now? Can we go home now? Please?"

After months of snarky remarks and angry yelling at each other, Pete has almost forgotten just how childlike Patrick can be. The younger man is always enthusiastic about everything, especially when Pete brought him outside. When Pete thinks about it, it's justifiable, considering how Patrick's parents used to-

"Pete?"

Pete quickly returns back to reality and sees Patrick staring at him, forehead creased in worry. "Can we go home now?"

 _Home._  Pete hasn't heard the word in a long time, and the word feels empty on his tongue. There's no significance to it. Just another word for house, abode, a place that someone lives in. No special meaning.

"Of course. Let's go home."

-

"Is this where we live?" Patrick stares up at the mansion in front of him, eyes wide in interest. Pete comes up from behind him and unlocks the front door. "Yeah."

"Wait. Why would you need a roommate if you live in a mansion?"

Pete stiffens at Patrick's question, unable to find any excuses to give to the younger man. He can't believe he overlooked a tiny flaw in the plan of telling Patrick that they're roommates.

_Why would people want a roommate if they live in a mansion?_

He keeps quiet, pretending that he doesn't hear Patrick's earlier question, and opens the door, revealing another person in his house.

"Pete! Patrick! Where have you been? I came home and there's no one-"

"Hayley! You're back!" Patrick beams and runs to hug the orange haired girl. Pete watches them from the doorway, confusion evident on his face. If Patrick forgot everything related to Pete, and Hayley works for Pete, then how is it possible that Patrick remembers her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two ongoing works as of now, and I probably will focus more on this one than Better To Burn. You already know how that story goes anyway 8)
> 
> When I say this piece is hard to write, I mean it. _It really is_. Hence the lack of updates. I'm taking ideas for this story, so feel free to drop some in the comments!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've updated this a couple of times and deleted it again because of some errors. Sorry about that.

"Patrick! I've missed you!" Hayley hugs him back, squeezing the younger man just as tight. When she finally releases him, she turns to look at Pete, a small smirk on her face.

"Let me guess, you two went on one of those 'vacations' again, weren't you?" She wiggles her eyebrows, poking Patrick on his side.

"What vacation?"

Pete quickly snaps his head to Patrick's direction, alarmed. Patrick  _can't_  know about their relationship.

"Nothing." Pete replies before Hayley can say anything further. "It's nothing. She's just messing with you." He looks over to Hayley, arching his brow to tell her to play along, and Pete's glad that Hayley is good at picking up signs.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Hayley grins, pulling Patrick close to ruffle his hair. "Why don't you head to the kitchen? I'll cook you something."

Patrick shoots a questioning glance at Pete, and Pete answers with a, "Straight, then left. Make yourself comfortable."

"Are you joining?"

Pete raises his hand and looks at his watch, finding that his lunch break is already over. He has already skipped his work in the morning, and he's sure that more works are being added if he's not in his office. "Probably not. I have to go to work."

"Oh. Okay." Patrick's quiet voice echoes in the room, and added with his crestfallen look, Pete feels slightly guilty.

As soon as Patrick is out of sight and out of earshot, Hayley pulls Pete to the side and frowns. "Did something happen?"

Pete lets out a sigh and runs his fingers through his hair. He considers not telling her about Patrick's condition, but if he needs her help to take care of Patrick while he's not around, then Hayley needs to know.

"Patrick got into an accident the other day," Pete begins, keeping his voice low so Patrick can't hear.

Hayley raises her hands to her gaping mouth, shocked. "Is he okay? He looks okay. What happened?"

"He's fine. He's just…" Pete clears his throat and looks down at the floor. No matter how bad their relationship was, no matter how many times they fought, Pete somehow finds it getting harder to talk about it with each passing second. "…he doesn't remember me, that's all."

"God, Pete… I'm sorry."

Pete chuckles mirthlessly and straightens his back. First, Andy, then Joe, then the doctor, and now, Hayley. He already has enough pitied looks to last a lifetime from when his parents were in an accident, he doesn't need more of them now.

"Just make sure Patrick doesn't know anything about our relationship. I don't want anything to trigger his memories." Pete tells her, watching as Hayley's expression changes from understanding to confusion. "It's going to hurt him if the memories flood into his brain. Like a broken dam or something."

Hayley crosses her arms and smiles. "You used to be good at words, Pete."

Pete lets out a huff and looks at his watch. "I really have to go right now. Take care of him. Tell the other maids not to mention anything to him. I mean it. Do  _not_  mention anything to Patrick."

"You got it, sir." Hayley gives him a mock salute and waves at his retreating back.

-

When Pete arrives in his office, he groans at the sight of the ever-growing pile of paperwork on his table. The pile seems to grow bigger, and never smaller, no matter how many times he's worked overtime.

He trudges over to his chair and plops down, ready to start working on his current case. Most of the time, Pete wonders why he chooses to be a lawyer. He could just find a work that is less stressful, and still be able to live lavishly from the money his parents left behind for him.

He looks up from his work when he hears knocking on the door, and nods for the person to enter. "Hey, Gabe. Sorry for coming in late today," he apologizes, but he knows Gabe received his notice about coming in late.

"It's okay. How's Patrick?" Gabe asks as he sits down on the chair opposite Pete, playing with the pens in the pen holder.

"He's fine," Pete curtly answers. He doesn't want to talk about Patrick's condition anymore. He doesn't want to receive another  _I'm sorry_  followed by a pitied look anymore.

"He just got released today, right?"

Pete stares at the taller man in surprise. He didn't tell Gabe about it yet. "How did you know?"

Gabe laughs as he leans back in his seat. "I bumped into Hurley during lunch. He told me everything."

He stiffens as soon as he hears Gabe's sentence. Did Andy tell him about Patrick losing his memories of him?

"And I, uh, heard," Gabe continues, rubbing the back of his neck. Pete can feel the atmosphere between them changes into an awkward one. "About Patrick. Sorry."

Pete frowns and turns back to his work. He doesn't have to look to know that Gabe is giving him a look he's too familiar with. "Yeah."

He keeps quiet after that, giving all his attention to the papers in front of him. Even with his eyes on his desk, he can feel Gabe's eyes on him.

"Why don't you go home, Pete?"

"Because I have work, Gabe." Pete replies absent-mindedly, not looking up from his work.

"I mean it, Pete," Gabe says and crosses his arms. "I know we don't share feelings and talk about our problems and shit with each other, but I can clearly see you're worried about him."

"The maids are with him. He's not alone, you know."

"Wouldn't you rather take care of him yourself?"

Pete sighs and drops the pen he's holding, leaning against the back of his chair. The image of Patrick's dejected look when he declined his lunch offer plays in his mind. Pete's familiar with all the expressions on Patrick's face- angry, sad, afraid, happy, surprised. But not hurt.

"He's fine. Besides-"

"Pete," Gabe stops him, voice gentle. "Go home. Take the rest of the day off."

"My work-"

"-will be taken care of. Don't worry. Patrick just got back from the hospital, he needs you. You can come to work tomorrow."

There's an understanding look on Gabe's face, and Pete is touched at how kind Gabe is. For all the years he has worked with Gabe, they are only as close as any acquaintances and any partner can be, only going out for drinks and work being the only topic of conservation between them, nothing else.

"T-thank you," Pete says, still feeling surprised at the situation. "So, I'll, uh…"

Gabe smiles and walks over to Pete and pats his back. "Yeah. Say hi to him for me."

Pete gives him a small, wordless nod as Gabe walks out of his office and into his own, but not before stopping by a clerk's workspace and flirting with the clerk.

Pete chuckles at his partner's attempt to woo the clerk. It's one of the entertainments he can find in the office whenever he's bored.

He takes out his phone to check the time, and finds that it's almost three. Now that he's left with nothing to do, he decides to just go home and spends the rest of the day sleeping. There's nothing better than sleeping in the afternoon, anyway.

-

Pete finds Patrick sitting in the living room alone, legs crossed on the sofa, and a book in his lap. He looks around the area and frowns when he doesn't see Hayley or any of the maids around. He's going to have a talk with Hayley about leaving the younger man alone.

"Oh. You're home early." Patrick tilts his head when he sees Pete standing by the arch. Pete shrugs and walks into the living room, sitting on the single seated sofa. "Gabe gave me the rest of the day off today."

"Gabe?"

Pete nods and looks at Patrick from the corner of his eyes. Looks like Patrick doesn't remember as him as well. "My partner. We work together."

By this point, Patrick has placed his book down and twists his body so he's facing Pete. "If I may ask, what do you do?"

Pete smiles at Patrick's question. Patrick sounds just like how they first got to know each other, all polite and formal and curious.

"I'm a lawyer," he answers, his ego boosting slightly when Patrick stares at him in awe. "Wow. What does it feel like? Being a lawyer?"

"Stressful," Pete chuckles. "Trust me, you do  _not_  want to be a lawyer."

"Well then, what do I do?"

Pete stares at him for a moment, taking in his expression. Patrick's face is full of curiosity and innocence, and Pete can't remember the reason they fought in the first place. He heaves himself up from the sofa and gestures for the younger man to follow him.

Making sure that Patrick is walking behind him, he leads them to a room, stopping by its door. He suddenly regrets bringing Patrick to the room. He has already explicitly told Hayley to not trigger Patrick's memories, but here he is, about to possibly trigger one.

"What's behind the door?" Patrick asks, peering from over Pete's shoulder. "Is it a library? Do you have a library, Pete?"

Pete finds himself quickly warming up to the younger man's presence, getting familiar with their close distance. The last time they were this close, Patrick had left him and got into an accident.

He shakes off the memory, no use remembering what has already happened, and grins at the other man. "Better."

Pete opens the door and steps aside, letting Patrick to enter the room. Patrick looks around the room, his eyes wide as he takes in all the stuff inside.

"Music room." Pete says and walks inside. "You play and make music. That's what you do."

"Pete…" Patrick is still staring at the musical instruments in the room, stopping by a piano. He walks over to the piano and brushes his fingers lightly over the cover before looking at Pete, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I don't play music, Pete. I can barely hold a guitar."

If anyone's supposed to be confused, it's Pete, not Patrick. Pete has seen and heard Patrick play music everyday, he knows how talented Patrick is. But hearing Patrick say that he doesn't play music…

"You  _do_ ," Pete emphasises on the word. "Maybe you didn't remember that. Try the piano."

Patrick slides into the seat as he lifts the cover, then stares at the black and white keys. "I really don't…"

Pete strolls over to Patrick and sits next to him. "Try."

Patrick sighs and presses his fingers down on the keys, wincing at the resulting sound. A frown makes its way on Pete's face when he realizes that Patrick might have forgotten how to play too.

"I told you I don't play. I suck at music." He hears Patrick mumbles next to him. "You don't, okay? You just forgot how to," Pete assures the younger man. "You can learn again."

For a moment, Patrick doesn't say anything, just keeps his mouth shut and gaze fixed on the keys. "How can you be so nice to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I overheard you talking with the doctor," Patrick mumbles, "I don't have any memories of you."

Pete averts his gaze to look at the piano keys in front of him. If he could have a wish right now, he would wish for any conversation about Patrick losing his memories to never exist. He already knows how the next part of the conversation goes, and he hates it.

"I- I'm sorry, Pete. I don't know why I can't remember you," Patrick apologizes, hands folded in his lap. "Even when I don't know anything about you, you're still nice to me. You still let me live in your place."

Patrick turns his body and looks at Pete, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "You're a great friend, Pete. I'm forever grateful to you. I don't know what I'd do without you."

_"You saved my life, and I'll forever be thankful for it. I don't know what I'd do without you, Pete."_

Pete closes his eyes as a memory plays in his mind. It was a little over a year after they met, and Patrick, albeit still having some emotional scars, had slowly healed from all the nightmares he's been getting. Pete can never forget the way Patrick trashed and wailed in his bed, begging for the nightmares to go away. It pains him even to this day.

He swallows and opens his eyes, smiling at the younger man. "Don't worry about it. What are friends for, right?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got my momentum back!

_"I'm sorry, Mr Wentz. We've tried our best, but we couldn't save them in time."_

_Pete slid down on the floor, his back against the wall as sobs erupted from his chest. Things weren't supposed to turn out this way. His parents and siblings were supposed to see him on the stage, graduating and getting his degree, and then they would celebrate over a dinner._

_They were not supposed to get into an accident._

_His body shook with each sob, and he pulled his knees to his chest, hunching his form. He had received a phone call from the hospital just as he was queuing up to get his scroll. Pete didn't think twice after that, letting his body take over him, and left in the middle of the ceremony to dash to the hospital._

_He wiped his tears with the sleeve of his graduation robe, and when he realized that he's still wearing the robe, he cried harder. It's his big day, and instead of celebrating it, he had to plan for his family's funeral._

_"Mom, dad, please come back…"_

Pete whimpers in his bed and curls into a small ball, hand blindly reaching on the other side for comfort. When he finds none, he opens his eyes, throat tightening at the lack of presence.

Right. Patrick doesn't sleep next to him anymore.

He swallows down the lump in his throat and tries to go back to sleep, which proves to be useless as he tosses left and right to fall back asleep. He sits up in his bed and rubs his eyes, getting rid of any traces of tears, and grabs his phone to check the time.

_04:15_

Knowing that he isn't going to get any sleep, he gets up from his bed and decides to walk around the house. He finds it to be therapeutic for him, and that was before he met Patrick.

After he met the younger man, all he had to do was ask him to sing, and he'd be fine again.

He pauses in front of Patrick's bedroom door, hand on the doorknob. He twists it open slowly, not making any sound, and peeks inside. Patrick is sleeping soundly on the bed, and Pete can see his face clearly.

He looks like he's having a good sleep and a nice dream, and Pete's glad for it. He doesn't want this Patrick to be tainted again by the nightmares he used to have.

He doesn't want this new Patrick to be the old Patrick- scarred, ruined, and damaged by his own past. With a newfound determination, Pete makes a promise to himself to protect the younger man, and that means keeping secrets about Patrick's past from him.

-

"I smell coffee."

Pete turns around and smiles at the sight greeted him. Patrick is standing by the archway in his pyjamas, yawning and rubbing his eyes, bed head present.

"You're up early," Pete comments, smiling behind his mug of coffee.

"I smell coffee," Patrick repeats himself as he takes a seat by the kitchen island, grabbing a mug for himself and giving it to Pete to fill it.

Pete takes it wordlessly and pours him coffee, enjoying the silence between them. Hayley and the other maids have yet to come to work, and since Pete doesn't have much going on in his office, he figures he can keep Patrick company until Hayley comes.

He glances at Patrick when the latter drops his head on the island after the first sip, his soft breathing fills the room. He smiles as drinks another gulp.

Patrick has always never been a morning person. A cup of coffee is not enough to keep him awake.

"Hey, why don't you head back to bed? You're going to hurt your back if you sleep like that," Pete advises him. Patrick mumbles something in return, and Pete laughs at him. "Yeah. Of course I understand every single word you're mumbling."

Patrick huffs and straightens his back, propping his elbow on the island and resting his head in his palm. "It's way too early for sarcasm, Pete. Give me a break."

"You're not giving your back a break if you sleep like that, though."

Patrick sighs and drinks his coffee, cradling the mug in his hands. "I just want to see you go to work. Like, I'm your roommate, but I haven't been seeing you much. I feel bad enough for living like a freeloader."

Pete stares at him, cheeks warm at Patrick's words. He almost can't believe this is the same person that used to spat him harsh words.

"Don't stare at me like that. You're creeping me out."

He lets out a small grin and reaches out to ruffle Patrick's hair, getting a protest in return. He notices a figure at the archway and directs his attention to it. "Hayley. Morning."

Hayley walks into the kitchen and does the same as Pete, ruffling Patrick's hair before grabbing a mug to get coffee. "Can you two not play with my hair?"

"Can you not slouch over the island?" Hayley mocks back in a high-pitched voice, then proceeds to sit next to Pete. "It's way too early to be loud. Keep your voices down, guys. I haven't had my coffee yet."

Pete smiles at them, feeling the familiarity returning to the way it originally was. With one last gulp of his coffee, he places the mug in the sink and washes his hands.

"I'll get going now. You," he points to Hayley, "take care of him," he points to Patrick, "and you, go sleep upstairs."

As he walks out of the kitchen, he barely hears Hayley mumbling "yeah, sure" over her mug. He grabs his bag and car key, and makes his way to the door when Patrick calls him.

"Yeah?" He turns around and sees the younger man walking towards him, yawning on the way.

"Your tie." Patrick mumbles as he steps closer to Pete, loosening the tie and tying it properly back again. Pete can feel butterflies in his stomach at their close distance and when Patrick's fingers brush lightly against his throat.

Pete raises his gaze to look at Patrick. There's nothing that indicates that the younger man is fazed or embarrassed by the situation. He looks just like how he was before- sleepy.

When he's done, he pats Pete on the chest and yawns once again. "I'm heading back to bed. Work hard."

Pete is still staring at him, waiting until Patrick is out of his sight before he snaps back to reality. He raises his hand to his face, feeling the skin warm under his fingers.

-

Pete leans back on his chair and spins around to face the huge glass window overlooking the city. He just wants to go back already, but he still has a good four hours to go before he's able to.

After hearing what Patrick said the morning earlier, something strikes deep inside Pete. He finally realizes one of the reasons they were fighting. _He never made time for Patrick._

Patrick would never say it out loud, but Pete should have seen it earlier. He was always working overtime, even spending the night at the office, and when he reached his house, he was too tired to do anything.

And Patrick was always eager to spend time together him after he got back from work. Pete had, multiple times, told him how he was tired and that he just wanted to sleep. But Patrick was a stubborn person, and so was Pete.

The younger man started to accuse him of anything, and Pete, being Pete, fought fire with fire. He said yes to everything Patrick accused him of, just to aggravate him further. That's when everything started to go downhill for them.

Pete sighs and closes his eyes, intending to take a nap so he would have energy to spend time with Patrick after he gets back from work. He won't repeat the same mistake twice.

"It's lunch time, dude. What are you still doing cooped up in your office?"

He groans and spins around to face his visitors. "What do you want?"

"Nice to see you too," Joe snorts as he takes a seat in front of him, followed by Andy. "It's lunch. Let's go out."

"You go. I just want to sleep," Pete waves his hand and leans back, glancing at the clock on his table. Thirty minutes is enough for a power nap.

"Hey, come on. Don't sleep while we're here," Joe complains loudly, tossing a few pens he finds on the table to Pete, cheering when they hit Pete on the head.

Pete lets out a grunt and scowls at the other man, throwing the pens back at him.

"Now that we have your attention, you coming tonight, Pete?"

"What's tonight?" Pete looks at the other two in confusion.

"Your client's party?" Joe looks at him, raising his eyebrow. "Didn't you remember, he invited all of us when you won his case?"

Pete doesn't remember much about his clients, and he certainly doesn't care much about them. All he knows is that he wins his cases, and that's that.

"Oh, come on, Pete. Don't tell me you lost your memories too." Joe teases him, and Pete chuckles. If the old Patrick were there with them, he would have retort with something equally snarky in Pete's defense.

Sometimes, he finds himself missing the old Patrick.

"If you give me a name or a picture, maybe I can remember."

Joe shrugs in his seat. "Dude, he's your client, not mine. All I care about is going to parties."

Andy rolls his eyes as he kicks Joe on the shin. "You should at least come and try to have fun. Bring Patrick along with you. When was the last time he stepped his foot outside, anyway?"

Pete tries to recall everything that has happened the past week. Of course. The last time Patrick was outside was when he was discharged from the hospital. It's been a week since then.

But he's also worried about bringing Patrick outside. Who knows what kind of accident Patrick can get himself into this time?

"If you're worried about him, Andy and I will keep an eye on him."

He raises his head to look at his friends, contemplating. Andy and Joe are just as protective over Patrick, if not the most. Pete can definitely trust them to take care of the younger man.

"Yeah, sure. I'll bring him."

As soon as he finishes saying the sentence, he feels a sinking feeling settling in his guts. When Andy and Joe continues to chat about another topic, he knows it's too late to go back on his words.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came out longer than expected.

"Patrick?" Pete calls the younger man when he gets back from work. He sees some of the maids cleaning in the living room, and upon noticing his presence, smile at him. "Welcome back, Mr Wentz."

Pete nods at them, smiling back. "Have you seen-"

"Pete!"

Pete tears his gaze from the maids to the source of the voice and smiles when he sees Patrick coming out from the kitchen, beaming with flour splattered all over his shirt.

"What happened to you?" Pete asks, voice tinged with amusement as he eyes the younger man up and down.

"I helped Hayley to bake." Patrick grins toothily, showing his hands which are covered with batter. Pete walks to him and peers at the kitchen, eyes widening at the sight.

"Okay, look, I know this is messy, but we'll clean it up! We promise!" Hayley quickly apologizes, wiping the counter and mixing the batter at the same time.

"What are you two baking?" Pete enters the kitchen, scanning the mess on the table. When he sees a bowl of batter, he grabs the wooden spoon and dips his finger on it, and proceeds to lick it. It's pretty delicious.

"Pies! We're baking pies for everyone!" Patrick cheers as he grabs another bowl of batter, dipping his finger in and licking it. Both Pete and Patrick almost drop the wooden spoon and the bowl they're holding respectively when Hayley hits their hands with a rolling pin. "Don't do that. That's gross and unsanitary."

"Sorry." They mumble simultaneously. Pete places the spoon back in its bowl and turns to Patrick. "So, there's a party tonight, and do you want to come along? I figured you must be bored-"

Patrick snaps his head to Pete, smiling widely. "Really? I can come with? What should I wear?"

"Casual, no dress codes." Pete replies with a chuckle, liking the way Patrick is enthusiastic about it. "And, Hayley, I need you to housesit tonight while we're out."

"Well, duh. I mean I get paid for that, aren't I?" Hayley scoffs, then points the wooden spoon she's holding to Patrick. "You. You're not going anywhere tonight if you don't help me clean this up. Honestly, how can one person create such mess?" She waves her hand wildly, gesturing to the whole kitchen.

Just as Hayley ends her sentence, Pete feels something drop on his head, and he grimaces when it drips to his forehead. Patrick wipes Pete's forehead with his finger and puts the finger in his mouth, humming, and looks up the ceiling.

"So that's where the chocolate batter went."

-

"Pete! Patrick! Glad you can make it!" Joe greets them and he slings his arms around them. "This party is awesome, dude. All the drinks are paid for!"

"Isn't that just peachy?" Andy deadpans, walking up behind them. "It's not even an hour into the party and you're already drunk. Seriously?"

"Live up a little, Hurls." Joe grins at them, then saunters away to the dancefloor. "Well, I need to keep an eye on him. You know how Joe is." Andy rolls his eyes. "I'll just sit at the booth if you need me."

Pete gives him a nod and looks at Patrick with a grin. "How about a dance?"

The younger man nods eagerly and grabs Pete's hand, dragging him to the dancefloor. The strange, worrisome feeling that Pete felt back at the office is now pushed to the back of his mind as he dances with Patrick.

Pete loses track of time after that, and soon finds himself getting thirsty. "Hey, you thirsty?"

"Yeah, I could use a drink right now." Patrick smiles at him and follows Pete to the bar. They order their drinks and chat for a while, and Pete's happy that he brought Patrick to the party along with him. If he came alone, then he'd be bored by now.

"Well, aren't you a cute little thing?"

Pete breaks eye contact with Patrick to glare at the intruder, who ogles Patrick shamelessly. He notices Patrick blushing next to him, and he places his hand on Patrick's back, pulling him to his side.

"Leave." Pete growls out, glaring when the stranger doesn't seem to leave them. He takes a step forward, and the stranger tenses, and turns around to leave.

He turns back to Patrick, about to continue where their conversation is left off when he sees Patrick glaring at him. "What's the matter?"

"What was that?!" Patrick huffs in anger, pushing himself away from Pete.

" _That_  was someone you don't want to associate yourself with." Pete frowns, "I was just trying to protect you. Don't talk to him."  
  
"I don't need protection, Pete! I can take care of myself!"

"If you can take care of yourself, then you'd know better than to go with him." Pete glares at him, gritting his teeth. He can't believe they're having a fight already. He'd thought with Patrick's memories gone, they won't be having any kind of dispute anymore.

"You're not my father, Pete! Who are you to tell me what I can or can't do?"

"I'm-"  _your boyfriend._  Pete stops before he finishes the sentence. He bites the insides of his cheek, refraining himself from saying anything else.

"Yeah? You're what?" Patrick frowns at him, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "You're what, Pete? My brother? My boyfriend?"

Pete almost forgets just how frustratingly annoying Patrick can be. If Patrick's not going to take caution from Pete's words, then so be it. He wants to see the look on his face when the younger man realizes he should've listened to him in the first place. "You know what? Fine. Go ahead. See if I care."

"Fine. You'll see that I don't need you to take care of me." With a final huff, Patrick turns around and leaves Pete by the bar, following wherever the stranger has gone to.

Pete's fingers are curled into a fist as he watches Patrick's retreating back until it disappears from the crowd. Patrick has no idea that his words are going to bite him back.

"That's one hell of a fight."

Pete scowls and looks at the bartender, who is wiping the counter despite having many customers. "Whatever."

"Have a drink. You look like you needed one." The bartender pours him a shot before attending to the other customers. Pete takes the glass and downs it in one gulp.

Maybe he shouldn't have acted like that to Patrick. He just basically  _ordered_  Patrick to not talk to the stranger, and it's Patrick. Patrick doesn't take orders from anyone.

He pushes himself from the bar, preparing to go find Patrick and apologize for his behaviour. He makes his way through the crowd and to the direction he saw Patrick went to.

That's weird. Pete could've sworn he saw Patrick heading to the back of the club. He opens the door and peeks left and right, finding that the hallway is empty and dark. He's about to close the door when he hears a low grunt, and he smirks. Someone's getting lucky in the club. He turns to close the door again, and that's when he hears a familiar cry.

"P- Pete…"

Pete dashes to the direction of the voice, his eyes adjusting to the dark, and grits his teeth at the scene in front of him. Patrick is pushed against the wall, belt undone and eyes glazed with tears.

Adrenaline shoots throughout his veins as he lunges forward and lands a punch on the stranger, reveling in delight at the way his fist collides with the stranger's face. The stranger falls to the floor and wipes at his bloodied face.

Pete steps forward and grabs him by the collar before throwing him to the wall, the strong force making the stranger bounce from the wall. Pete grabs him again, this time by the throat, and pushes him up against the wall.

He can feel the stranger's throat constricting for air, but Pete only tightens his hold on him. He can't think of anything else at that moment, all he knows is that he just wants the man to die by his hands.

He deserves to die for attempting to  _rape Patrick_.

The stranger makes a choked sound, clawing at Pete's hands, his legs scrape against the wall behind him. Almost. Pete can almost see death coming its way for the stranger.

Pete is snapped back to reality when Patrick holds his hand, and he flicks his gaze to look at Patrick.

"P- Please, stop. Y- you're going to kill him."

Patrick is visibly shaking, and Pete can even feel his hands trembling over where Patrick is touching him. He lowers his hands to his sides, and the stranger drops to the floor, coughing and trying to get air into his lungs.

"Let's just go, Pete. P- Please," Patrick stutters, releasing his hand from Pete.

Go? After what the stranger almost did to him? Pete clenches his jaw as he fishes out his wallet, taking out a wad of cash and throwing it to the stranger, the green papers raining over him.

Pete leans forward and grabs him by the hair, making the stranger yelp in pain. "No one will know about this," Pete growls lowly, "If words got out, and if you  _ever_  attempt to pull this shit again, I will personally end your life in a much more excruciating way than before. Got it?"

He pushes the stranger away and turns to Patrick, eyes narrowed. Gripping Patrick's wrist, he leads them out of the club, ignoring how the younger man winces in pain.

Once they've reached his car, Pete opens the door and pushes Patrick inside, slamming the door close after. He walks to his side and gets into his seat, body still thrumming with adrenaline from earlier.

_To: Andy, Joe_  
_22:45:15_  
_we're heading home. not feeling well_

Pete starts the car and drives them back in silence. The road is almost empty at this time of night, and Pete steps on the gas, going over the speed limit.

Patrick gasps from next to him, hands grabbing on the edge of his seat. "P- Pete, slow down."

Instead of slowing down, Pete speeds up his car, the accelerometer going further up. Patrick paid no attention to his words earlier, so Pete's not going to listen to him either.

-

"Pete-"

"What the hell, Patrick?!" Pete explodes in the darkness of the mansion, unable to contain his anger in any longer. "Just how oblivious more can you be?! I told you he's no good! Fuck, I told you!  _I fucking told you!_ "

"Pete, I-"

 _"For fuck's sake, Patrick, you almost got raped!"_  Pete doesn't even bother stopping when the younger man flinches in his seat, he continues with his outburst instead. "All because  _you_  think everyone's all nice and sunshine! Well, news flash, Patrick! Not everyone is!"

He pants heavily after his rant, trying to get his breath. There's a pounding in his ears, and he just wants to punch something. He clenches his hands into fists and unclenches them again repeatedly until he feels slightly calm.

"I- I'm sorry, Pete…" Patrick stutters, trembling in his seat. "I- I didn't know he was going to…"

"What? You didn't know he was going to get one out of you?" Pete snarls at him, watching as Patrick buries himself further into the couch, shoulders tight and elbows pressed into his sides. Patrick doesn't say anything in return, and Pete doesn't as well. He considers leaving the matter just like that, but as he remembers the incident, his temper flares up again.

"When I say someone has a bad intention," Pete begins again, grinding his teeth, "I mean it. Just because someone sweet talked you doesn't mean that person won't do anything to you. You can't blindly trust anyone you just met!"

Patrick keeps his head down, fiddling with his fingers, too afraid to say anything. Pete wants to start another rant, but seeing Patrick looking like a child who just got scolded, which he absolutely does, he decides that it's already enough. What matters right now is that Patrick's safe.

And right now, Pete's trying to think of a way to keep Patrick safe. He considers keeping Patrick locked inside the house and far away from people, with the exception of Joe, Andy, Hayley, and the maids. But he figures that's too extreme on his part, and one might consider the action as abusive. And Pete's not an abusive person.

"Hayley!" Pete bellows, his loud voice echoing throughout the mansion. He knows Hayley's still inside and probably hears everything, considering how loud Pete voice had been.

Hayley comes into the living room moments later, out of breath and stuttering. "Y- yes, sir?"

While Hayley can be outspoken and joke around Pete, her demeanor changes completely whenever Pete's angry. Not breaking his gaze from the younger man, Pete gives out his order to her. "From now on, never let him leave out of your sight. If you go out for grocery shopping, bring someone else along with you  _and_  him. If he were to speak to any stranger, one of you must be with him  _at all times_. No excuses."

Pete turns around to leave when he finishes telling Hayley his instructions, hands clenched into tight fists in the pockets of his jeans.

"P- Pete…?" Patrick's shaky voice calls out to him, but Pete continues to walk, ignoring the younger man. "You'll stay the night here and keep an eye on him. I'm heading out."

He can hear Hayley's soft murmurs comforting Patrick as he walks to his car. Once inside, he grips the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn white. He saw how shaken up Patrick was the entire time, and him yelling did nothing to comfort him in the least, but if Patrick were in his shoes, he'd know just how terrified Pete is.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, he starts the engine and drives away, letting his mind take him to anywhere it desires.

-

Pete stands in front of the glass door, staring at nothing in particular. He doesn't know why he decided to go to his office in the middle of the night, but he supposes it's better than going to some club and getting himself intoxicated and too hungover for work in the morning.

He snaps out of his thoughts when there's a double tap on the glass door. He squints his eyes and sees that it's the security guard, smiling at him and getting his keys out to unlock the door.

"Mr Wentz. What are you doing here?" The guard greets him with a friendly smile, ushering him inside. Pete enters the building and makes an attempt to smile back at the guard. "I, uh, have some work to finish. I'll be in my office."

The guard gives him a nod and another smile, not pressing anything further. "Sure thing."

Pete drags his feet to the elevator, punching his floor number in, and sags against the wall. With everything that happens that night, all he wants to do is to just sleep and pretend that the party went smoothly on his behalf, that he had fun with Patrick and Andy and Joe, that he didn't let Patrick go off somewhere with some stranger.

Pretend that he wasn't the reason Patrick almost got raped.

The door to the elevator opens with a ding and he steps out, marching to the direction of his office. When he enters his office, he lets out a shout, releasing all the pent up anger and frustration inside.

_"I don't need protection, Pete! I can take care of myself!"_

He grabs the vase next to him and smashes it to the floor, shattering it to pieces.

_"You're not my father, Pete! Who are you to tell me what I can or can't do?!"_

He walks over to the table and throws everything to the ground, chest heaving as he tightens his fist, nails digging into the skin.

_"Fine. You'll see that I don't need you to take care of me."_

With a roar, he punches the wall near to him and leaves his fist stick to the wall. He leans his forehead against it and squeezes his eyes shut, feeling tears burning his eyes.

_"P- Pete…"_

Pete slides down with his back against the wall, letting the tears to finally fall. The situation at the club was too much for him. It's like he's watching history repeats itself. In this case, Patrick's history.

And Pete's not willing to go through everything again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told someone this piece is going to be all fluff starting from the last chapter. You know who you are.
> 
> Leave some comments!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got sidetracked by Too Beautiful. Sorry!

_"Pete, promise me you'll make the nightmares go away?"_

_"Yeah, I promise."_

-

Pete wakes up with a bright, morning light over him and groans, throwing his hand over his eyes. His head is pounding, and his knuckles are hurting. And not to mention the annoying voice that seems to never stop talking.

Pete quickly sits up and looks around the room, letting out another groan as he does so. He spots a blurry figure in his vision, standing in the middle of his destroyed office.

"What are you doing here, Gabe?" Pete croaks out, his vision slowly returning.

"Oh, you're awake." Gabe chirps and sits on Pete's chair, spinning around on it. "I came to grab something, but the guard told me you were here since last night. So…"

Gabe gestures to the mess in Pete's office. Pete sighs and leans back on the couch, not caring if he looks terribly hungover. "Nothing. I thought it needed a makeover."

"Well, it's going to need it more now." Gabe lets out a snort and walks over to Pete, plopping down next to him. "Did you get into a bar fight last night after the party? Which, come to think of it, I don't think I saw you at the club last night. Did you go?"

"Yeah, but we went back early." Pete lets out a frustrated sigh and runs his fingers through his already messy hair. "And I didn't get into a bar fight."

"Pete, you know I'm a lawyer, right? I can tell when people are bullshitting me."

Pete huffs and closes his eyes, thumping his head against the head of the couch. "It's nothing, Gabe."

"If by nothing, you mean Patrick, then okay. I know you'll work it out like always," Gabe waves his hand, standing up and heading to the door. Pete shoots him a confused look, a little startled that Gabe seems to know. "What?"

"Seriously, Pete, you have no idea how much the people in the office and our associates look up to you and Patrick. You guys are the definition of a perfect relationship. You're always so happy together." Gabe finishes with a smile, then looks at his watch. "And I'm late. Clean this up, okay? And go home."

Pete stares at the spot where Gabe stood seconds ago before he leaves the room, with Gabe's words echoing in his mind.  _The definition of a perfect relationship._

Looks like they played their parts too well.

Pete lets out another sigh as he lays again on the couch, resuming his position earlier. He's unsure about how to face Patrick after last night, but while he's in the office, he's going to continue sleeping until the anxiety goes away. 

-

"Where have you been? It's already night."

Pete turns to the source of the voice and sees Hayley standing by the archway to the living room, arms crossed.

"Hayley…" Last night's incident flashes in his mind, and he feels bad and ashamed as he faces the young woman right now. "Hayley, I'm sorry."

Hayley falters at Pete's apology, and she unfolds her arms. "I know you didn't mean it, Pete. You're just worried about him."

"How's… how is he?" Pete asks cautiously, afraid of finding out the answer. He knows he was being harsh on Patrick last night, and he would do anything to take it back.

"I don't know… he doesn't talk much. He went to the music room after breakfast and didn't come out since. Moping, probably. Like he always did before."

Pete tries to swallows the dread down. Just when things start to look up for them, he had to screw everything up, bringing them back to square one.

"I know I'm in no position to give advice about you and Patrick, but I'm your friend, so please, at least try to talk to him?"

Hayley gives him a pleading look, and Pete knows he has already lost. "Yeah. Thanks for taking care of him, Hayley. I owe you one," Pete smiles at the young woman.

"You bet your ass you owe me one."

Pete chuckles and begins to walk to the direction of the music room, glad that Hayley is back to her normal self. "You're done for the day. You can go home, Hayley."

-

"Patrick…?"

Pete sees the younger man sitting on the piano bench, hunching over the keys. He immediately feels guilty for his behaviour last night; he was over the line.

He moves to sit next to Patrick, who has his head buried in his folded arms. Awkward silence settles itself between them, taunting Pete to break it. Even though Pete has spent years together with Patrick, knowing him inside out, he can't help feeling like he's about to talk to Patrick for the first time. Although, in a weird way, it is. Pete has to constantly remind himself that this Patrick is the same old Patrick.

Pete clears his throat and scoots closer, bumping his shoulder with Patrick's. "You awake?"

A muffled, unintelligible noise makes its way out of Patrick's mouth, and Pete shakes his head fondly at the younger man.  _Some things never change._

"Of course I hear every word you're saying."

"Shut up. You can't use that line again," Patrick grumbles loudly. Pete sighs and drops his shoulders. He has no clue how to approach Patrick about last night.

As if reading his mind, Patrick opens his mouth again. "Are you still mad at me, Pete?"

His voice is small, just above a whisper, almost as if expecting Pete to yell at him again. The guilt increases tenfold, and Pete would give anything to erase his actions last night.

"I'm not, Patrick." Pete replies, bowing his head down and staring at his lap. "Last night, what I did was wrong and out of line.I- I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

It feels weird to Pete to be talking about their fight. Since their relationship turned bad, every fight and misunderstanding that they had, neither of them would talk to each other about it, much less words of apologies. This will be the first time they're going to talk about their fight, and Pete can't help feeling nervous about it.

Patrick raises his head, resting his chin on top of his folded arms and staring at the wall across the room. "Just… I have to ask, why were you so angry about it? I mean, I know I can be a little stubborn, but…" Patrick trails off, ducking his head.

Pete understands what Patrick is trying to say, but he doesn't know how to explain it to him. Pete doesn't know how to explain that  _it had happened to Patrick before_.

"The same thing happened to a friend of mine," Pete finally says, keeping the identity a secret from Patrick. He can feel Patrick's gaze on him, curious, full of questions waiting to be answered. "He… he took it pretty bad. It happened years ago, but I still think he never really got over it."

"Oh…" Patrick says quietly, unsure of what to say. "Was that why you freaked out last night? You thought it was going to happen to me too?"

Pete lets out a sigh and nods solemnly. "It's painful to watch him like that every single day."

"It must have been hard on you, but, Pete, you still didn't have to yell at me." Patrick has completely buried his head in his arms by this point, leaving his voice muffled like before. "You could've just told me that. We can talk."

"I know." Pete looks at Patrick, face twisted in guilt and remorse. "I'm sorry. Patrick, I truly am sorry for yelling at you. I really shouldn't have done that. And I completely understand if you're angry at me."

Patrick finally sits up straight, no longer slouching, and turns to Pete with an upward curve on his lips. Pete can't believe how much he misses his smile, and his heart skips a beat at the sight of it.

"You're forgiven, Pete. Just please don't do it again, okay? I'm still trying to understand how the outside world works, but-"

The happiness that Pete feels when he sees Patrick's smile explodes in his chest. A huge grin breaks out on Pete's face, and he pulls the younger man into a bear hug, laughing. "I won't, I promise. Thank you."

He hears Patrick's laughter join his, and Pete, for the first time after what seems like forever, feels content. He has never thought that talking really can solve everything.

If he and Patrick had talked before, they would probably still be happy together, with Patrick's memories still intact. But being the two stubborn and hot-headed person that they were, they would have a yelling match instead, then pretend as if nothing happened the next day, leaving the matter unresolved. Then, it kept piling until it got too big.

He buries his head in the curve of Patrick's neck, taking comfort in the familiar scent. He wishes he can turn back time and make everything right again between them.

"Of course, you have to make up for it."

Pete can't help another burst of laughter from escaping him. He pulls back to see Patrick smirking at him, eyes glinting mischievously.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Since it's late, and neither of us are sleepy anyway- wait, are you sleepy?" Patrick stops in his sentence to look at Pete, eyebrow raised in question. Pete shakes his head, amused at Patrick's sudden burst of energy.

"Great! We're baking pies!"

" _More_  pies?" Pete smirks when Patrick stands from his seat and drags Pete by the hand to the kitchen.

"I'm hungry, okay? And I'm in the mood for some pies. You know, I blame Hayley for this-"

As Patrick continues to ramble next to Pete, Pete doesn't even bother trying to hide the goofy smile on his face, or the butterflies in his stomach, or the soothing warmth in his chest.

It just feels so good to have Patrick's hand in his again.

-

_"Y- you promised. You promised the nightmares will go away. Why won't they go away, Pete? Why- why would you break your promise?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave some comments!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is only one universe in this big, big world

"Pete…?"

The man in question glances up from his laptop, seeing Patrick by the archway to the kitchen, playing with the hem of his shirt. Patrick looks like he wants to ask him a question, but is afraid to. Pete wonders what kind of question that makes Patrick feel that way.

"If I ask, can you promise me you won't be mad?"

Pete arches an eyebrow at him, intrigued. "Promise. What is it?"

Patrick seems to brighten up a bit, even a little hesitant. "So, you know how it's been a couple of weeks since I was discharged form the hospital?"

Pete waits for Patrick to finish his question, but when the younger man looks up at him expectantly, Pete realizes that he's waiting for his answer. "Yeah…?"

"And, uh, I haven't…" Patrick glances downwards and clears his throat, "…gone out since? Except to the club?" He bites his lip, peeking at Pete from under his lashes, looking even more nervous when he mentions the club.

Pete remembers the incident at the club too well, along with the situation following it.

_"What? You didn't know he was going to get one out of you?"_

God, Pete will never forget the look on Patrick's face when he said it. If Patrick hadn't lost his memories, then maybe Pete would take delight at his expression. But Patrick did lose his memories, and Pete didn't find pleasure at how Patrick's expression formed into a hurt one.

"So… can we, like, I don't know… go out?" Patrick mumbles the last two words out. Pete doesn't miss the slight hopeful tone in his voice. The corner of his lips quirk up into a sad smile. He feels like he had made a bad impression on Patrick. He must have thought that Pete would get angry again for wanting to go out.

"Yeah, sure. I have nothing to do anyway," Pete grins when Patrick snaps his head to look at him in disbelief. "R- really?"

"We'll stop by the coffee place first, then we can go anywhere you want. How's that sound?" Pete suggests to him. Patrick beams and nods fervently. "Okay! Wait here, I'll go change my clothes!"

Pete nods and closes the lid of his laptop. His work can wait. The one thing Pete has learned after Patrick's accident is that he didn't spend much time with Patrick before. All of a sudden they were fighting, and then they didn't spend time together _at all_.

Pete would be in his office, and Patrick would be in his music room. Neither would interact with one another unless there were people around, and even if there weren't, the only time they would interact was if they were fighting or making bitter remarks to each other.

He used to think that work was important to distract himself from his own problems, but as Patrick comes back down to the kitchen with a jacket in his hand and a smile on his face, Pete knows he has made the right decision. His work can wait.

-

"Hi! Welcome to our humble little coffee shop!"

Patrick brushes over him and heads straight to the muffin display, watching one by one in interest. Pete chuckles at him and walks up to the counter, where a barista with a huge smile is waiting for them to order.

"What can I get you?"

Pete spots the menu on the counter and makes a quick scan over it. The prices aren't as expensive as the other shops, but Pete's willing to try a new one. If it tickles his taste bud, then he'll stop by the shop every day before work.

"Espresso." Pete informs him, then turns to Patrick, nudging him on the side. "What do you want?"

Patrick looks up at him and stands up straight. "Whatever you're having. And some blueberry muffins?" He adds the last part with a sheepish grin.

"Of course." Pete glances at him in amusement, and turns his attention back to the barista behind the counter. "Two espressos, and two blueberry muffins."

The barista opens the muffin display, and Pete laughs silently at the way Patrick's jaw drops as the scent of the pastries fills the shop.

"Two blueberry muffins and two espressos. Will that be all?"

Pete gives him a nod and waits for him to ring up the bill. "That will be ten dollars and fifty cents, please."

He hands the barista the exact amount of money and smirks when he catches Patrick biting into one of the two muffins.

"Can I have your name?"

"It's Pete," he tells the barista, who then proceeds to write his name down on a two-stacked cups.

"Hey, we have the same name!" The barista chimes happily and calls for the other barista working by the coffee machine. "Sweetheart, look! We have the same name!"

The other barista pushes the brim of his cap down, embarrassed, and grabs the two cups from him. "We'll call you once your orders are done."

Pete thanks him and ushers Patrick to sit at one of the vacant tables. The younger man is munching on his second blueberry muffin happily, and Pete takes a look around the coffee shop. It's one that he has never set his foot into- he has always preferred Starbucks anyway, but he wishes he had.

The shop is comfy, and it has a friendly atmosphere to it. Patrick seems to like it, judging from the relaxed posture and the occasional happy sighs. Pete smiles and looks at the two baristas at the counter.

They're probably around 22 or 23 years old, if Pete has to guess. College kids. The dark-haired barista keeps staring and smiling at the other, and when he gets caught, the smile gets bigger, and the other barista returns with his own bashful ones.

Pete remembers how he and Patrick used to be like them during the first year they know each other. Stolen glances were frequent during the year, and he's pretty sure Hayley and the others had gotten tired of them mutually pining over each other.

"Pete!"

"You don't have to shout for me, sweetheart."

"I wasn't calling you, _honey_."

Pete stands up from his seat and walks to the counter to get their drinks, Patrick following closely behind. The barista hands them their drinks with a polite smile. Patrick moves to take the coffees from him, and Pete watches them exchange smiles and _thank you_ 's.

"My boyfriend makes the best coffee ever." The dark-haired barista grins and plants a wet kiss on the other's cheek, then skips over to his counter. The red-haired barista is blushing hard under their gazes, but Pete notices the small smile on his face.

"I- I'm sorry for, uh, that." He flaps his hand nervously and smiles. "I hope you enjoy your drinks! Please come again!"

Pete thanks the two baristas and decides to give them a large tip each- mostly because they remind him a lot of their younger selves, and exits the shop.

"They're adorable, aren't they?" Patrick muses next to him as he gives Pete his coffee. "Young love. Wish I had that kind of experience though."

 _You do_. Pete wants to say the words to Patrick, but he keeps them inside.

"I mean, I'm twenty- _four_ , and I _still_ haven't found that special someone," Patrick continues to rant next to Pete after they get into Pete's car.

"Maybe your special someone got lost along the way?" Pete grins cheekily at him, igniting the engine.

"Maybe they need a map," Patrick mutters under his breath and drinks his coffee. "What about you? Thirty years old. Who's the lucky someone?"

Pete scoffs at the younger man as he waits for the engine to warm up and browses through the radio stations. "Twenty- _nine_. 'Mnot that old."

"Sure, Pete." Patrick smiles, voice dripping with sarcasm. "You're not that old."

Pete doesn't reply after that, too focused on finding the right station before he drives. He doesn't even notice Patrick shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"So, Pete… uh, can you tell me more about your friend?" Patrick looks up at him with a hopeful look in his eyes. Pete hums in reply, switching between the radio stations until he finds the one he likes. "Which friend?"

"The one that, um, you told me the other day?"

Pete raises his eyebrows in confusion at the younger man. He doesn't remember telling Patrick about any of his friends before. "Who?"

"The, uh," Patrick squirms for a few seconds, then takes a deep breath. "The one that got raped…?" He asks in a timid voice.

Pete looks over to the man sitting in the passenger seat, a somber look on his face versus Patrick's expectant one. What is he supposed to say to Patrick's request? What if his memories return when Pete tells him? What happens then?

Avoiding the question would be the best option. Pete clears his throat and shifts his attention back to the radio. "So, where do you want to go?"

"Pete. Pete, please. I want to know."

Pete doesn't know what made him yield to Patrick's request. Maybe it's the way Patrick's voice sounds, or maybe it's the way Patrick's warm hand is on Pete's shoulder, but Pete finds himself sighing in defeat and nodding, giving in to Patrick's curiosity. "What do you want to know?"

"What happened to him?" Patrick asks, shifting in his seat and facing Pete. "Like, after… _that_ , was he okay?"

Pete drives them out of the parking lot and takes his time answering Patrick's question. The matter never sits well with Pete; it only serves him as a reminder of how fragile Patrick was before and how damaged he had become after.

"He had nightmares every night. Woke up screaming and crying… I couldn't do anything about it, couldn't do anything to save him." His voice gradually quiets down to a whisper as he explains to the man next to him. "He never was okay."

"He… he lived together with you?"

Pete glances at Patrick before turning his gaze back on the road. "Yeah."

"Were you close with him?" Patrick questions him again.

Were they? They had been fighting nearly every day for months, up until Patrick lost his memories of him. They weren't close then, but now, as Pete steals a glance at him once again, he thinks they're getting closer again.

That is, not to say if Patrick regains his memories back.

"We were, yeah." He says with a touch of sadness in his voice. Patrick shifts in his seat again, facing forward. "Like… _together_?"

A small, nostalgic smile appears on Pete's face, and he nods his head. "Yeah. Like together."

Patrick turns his body to look at Pete, and Pete braces himself for another wave of questions. He finds himself fine with it, though. As painful as it is to delve back into their past, Pete decides it's worth it when Patrick looks at him with no traces of hatred and its likes anymore.

"Are you still keeping in touch with him?"

 _Yes_. Pete tilts his head and gives him an amused look. "Why the 20 Questions?"

"Why not?" Patrick retorts back, his mouth formed into a pout. The image makes Pete chuckle; Patrick would always pout whenever he got questioned or if he didn't get what he wanted right away. Patrick has never been a patient man, Pete knows that for a fact.

" _Pete_ ," Patrick wrinkles his nose and glares up at him. "Stop laughing!"

Patrick is still pouting next to him, and added with the glare, he looks nothing more than a rattled kitten. His laughter slowly dissolves into a rueful smile as he remembers just how different the intensity of the glare is compared to the one a few weeks ago.

_"They don't love you. No one loves you."_

"Pete? Are you okay?"

Pete smiles when he hears Patrick's worried voice. He reaches out to mess with Patrick's hair and relaxes. "Yeah, I'm okay. What's the question again?"

"Does this make you uncomfortable? I mean, it's okay if you don't want to answer." Patrick says slowly, looking at Pete in apology.

"No, it's fine." Pete assures him. "So, the question?"

Patrick, however, ignores Pete and continues, "I feel like it's unfair that I'm the one who does the asking. So, you can ask me questions too. I don't mind," he beams at Pete and nods to himself.

Pete bites the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from saying what's on his mind. He already knows everything that needs to know about Patrick, even his past, way before they even met. "Sure. Hey, come on, we'll go to the park, then we'll talk."

-

"Come on, Pete. Ask me one question, then I'll ask you one," Patrick speaks as they stroll side-by-side in the park. "We'll take turns to ask each other questions. That way we get to know each other more!"

Pete gives him a grin, amused by Patrick's enthusiasm. He tries to recall any innocent bits of Patrick's past that hopefully won't trigger his memories. "Okay. Who's your best friend?"

Of course, Pete already knows the answer to that.

"Okay, so we have a family butler, and his family has been working for us since, I don't know, a few generations- whatever. At least, that's what my parents told me," Patrick pauses to shake his head. "Anyway, he has a son about my age. He's like, _super_ talented in music, and-"

 _And_ that's how Patrick was fascinated to play music in the first place, Pete smiles sadly to himself. Patrick didn't learn to play music until months after they met. And even then, he would hesitate to play every time he held an instrument.

_"Playing music just reminds me so much of him…"_

"-so awesome, and that's why he's my best friend!" By the time Patrick finishes, he's already panting, but his face just radiates happiness, which is a _totally_ different emotion than the first time Patrick told Pete about his best friend. There was an air of melancholy around him when he told the story, and his face showed nothing but pure heartache back then.

Pete's heart twists at the contrast. He wants Patrick to be this happy all the time, never sad and gloomy.

"He sounds like an awesome dude," Pete comments after Patrick finally catches his breath. "He is! I'll introduce you to him some time. You're gonna love him, I promise!"

_"I wish I could introduce you to him… I- I'm sorry, can we please talk about something else? I don't want to talk about this anymore."_

Pete tears his gaze away from Patrick's face and pretends to look at their surroundings. The difference between pre-amnesiac Patrick and post-amnesiac Patrick is almost like two ends of a spectrum.

"So, my turn to ask. Let's see…" Patrick rubs his chin thoughtfully. They come across and empty bench and sit down, Pete letting out relieved sigh that he gets to rest his legs. He sips his lukewarm coffee while waiting for Patrick to come up with his question.

What seemed to be a walk in the park has now become a walk down the memory lane.

"Do you still love him?"

At the younger man's question, Pete finds himself reminiscing the time they spent together in the past years. In the five years they have known each other, between nightmares and sleepless nights and sobs and tears, there were happy moments and sad moments, and exchanges of smiles and laughters and confessions which gradually turned into screams and shouts and curses.

_"P- Please… please help me…"_

_"M- my name's Patrick."_

_"You saved my life, and I'll forever be thankful for it. I don't know what I'd do without you."_

_"I love you, Pete…"_

_"Feels like I rarely see you around anymore…"_

_"Had fun fucking other people behind my back?"_

_"Fuck you! If I weren't so desperate, I'd never ask for your help that night!"_

_"This is stupid. I'm done with this, with us."_

Between all of them, Pete realizes, he wouldn't trade them for anything. All the ups and downs, the highs and lows, they were them. They were still Pete and Patrick underneath it all; two lost souls who had found each other and gotten lost again.

And this time, Pete is sure they've found their way back to each other again.

He turns to look Patrick, who is waiting for his answer, and smiles softly at him.

"Yeah. I still do."

-

"Home at last!" Patrick cries out and falls down on the sofa. Pete laughs and follows suit, sitting next to him and relishing the way his body uncoils after a walk in the park.

Maybe Patrick was right. Maybe he is getting old.

He slides down the sofa, extending his legs, and closes his eyes. He's too tired to even walk to his bedroom right now. Feeling the cushion under him shifts, he cracks his eyes open to see that Patrick is walking to a shelf, examining the books on it.

Patrick takes one out, turning it over and running his fingers over the cover. Pete immediately comes to his senses when he realizes what book Patrick is holding.

_Their photo album._

_Shit_. Pete totally forgets about the album. There are pictures upon pictures of them together on every page, some silly pictures, some intimate ones. And if Patrick were to see the pictures…

Patrick squeals in surprise when Pete comes up behind him, hands reaching forward to grab the photo album from Patrick's clutches. The younger man holds onto it tightly, determined not to let Pete take it from him, and worms his way out of Pete's grasp, laughing in delight.

Pete wastes no time in catching Patrick. He'd be damned if Patrick opens the album and sees their pictures together.

"Patrick! Get back here!"

"What's the matter, Pete? Got something to hide?" Patrick smirks at him, his fingers slowly inching towards the corner of the album, ready to open it any second.

All rational thoughts fly out of Pete's brain as he lunges forward, sending them stumbling down on the carpet, and wrestles for the album.

Patrick is still laughing, keeping the album tucked to his chest, away from Pete's reach. There's nothing else on Pete's mind but _getthealbumback, don'tlethimopenit,_ and _don'tlethimseethepictures_. He throws a leg over Patrick and straddles him, pulling the album from Patrick's vice-like grip.

"You can look at another album, just not this one, please," Pete pleads desperately, but Patrick has already stopped laughing, his eyes- previously shone with playfulness, have now darkened. Pete is about to ask him what's wrong when he finds out why.

While Patrick has lost his memories, his body and muscles certainly haven't.

Pete carefully scrambles off of Patrick and stops when it elicits a soft moan from him. Pete's paralyzed by the sound as his eyes roam over the figure under him- eyes glazed over and half-lidded, flush high on his cheeks, lips parted, and Pete feels himself quickly getting aroused at the sight.

_"P- Pete."_

"Oh. Right." Pete shudders at Patrick's voice and heaves himself up. Patrick gets up soon after, then gives the photo album to Pete, avoiding meeting his eyes. Pete's glad that they don't have eye contact at the moment; he doesn't think he has enough restraint in himself right now.

"I- I'm gonna head to my room now," Patrick mumbles, looking down at his feet. "Thanks for, uh, taking me out. Night, Pete."

Pete doesn't say anything in return, just watches Patrick's retreating back until he's out of sight. He makes his way to his own bedroom and hides the album in a secure place where he knows Patrick can't possibly get his hands on.

When he jerks off in the shower later, he comes hard for the first time in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! 3 more papers to go and I'm free!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> April is shaping up to be a good month so far, seeing that March had been a pretty shitty one.
> 
> Enjoy! (Sorry for not updating!)

Hayley and Patrick are already in the kitchen by the time Pete is getting ready for work. There's a plate of pancakes on the kitchen island, dripping with syrup, and a mug of steaming hot coffee next to it.

Pete smiles as he watches Hayley teach Patrick how to make pancakes. Patrick is pouring the batter with rapt attention, a crease forming between his eyebrows and his tongue is sticking out slightly, and Pete can't remember the last time he sees Patrick with this kind of innocence.

"Hayley! Look! Another perfect round!" Patrick cheers, eyes lighting up as he turns to the young woman. "I'm getting pretty good at this."

Patrick reaches for the milk and drinks it straight from the carton, only to get scolded by Hayley about hygiene after. But Pete isn't paying attention to Hayley's rant or Patrick's sheepish grin.

His eyes are focused on the trail of milk seeping from the corner of Patrick's mouth, dripping and trickling down to his chin.

He can't remember the last time he's seen that sight either.

He curses silently to himself as his pants start to tighten. Before he can leave the kitchen to avoid being seen, they finally notice him.

"Pete!" Hayley greets him, waving. "We've prepared breakfast for you. Come eat with us." She gestures to where the pancakes are. "Patrick made them."

Patrick ducks his head in embarrassment, blushing, and clears his throat. "H- Hi, Pete."

And just like that, Pete is instantly reminded of the incident that happened a few nights ago, when there was a blatant thick sexual tension hanging in the air between them. Judging from the way Patrick is fidgeting in place and avoiding his eyes, he must have remembered the night as well.

"M- Morning." Pete stutters, then strolls to the island, picking up the coffee and drinking it.

It's very clear that there's some sort of tension left between them, and Pete hopes that Hayley won't address it.

"Eat up, Wentz." Hayley pours herself a cup of coffee as Patrick returns to his pancake, his back facing Pete. Pete's shoulders droop a little.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm eating." Pete mutters. He takes a bite of the pancake, then hums in delight. "It's great."

Patrick tilts his head to look at him, cheeks still painted red, but a smile is on his face. "Thank you."

 _Patrick. Always so proper,_ Pete muses to himself.

"So, I'm going out for grocery run today. Is there anything you need?" Hayley asks, pulling out a checklist for all the items to be bought later.

Pete ponders for a moment. He doesn't cook, and he certainly doesn't spend his time _cooking_. "No. I'll leave that up to you."

"Sure. Just call me in case you need me to buy anything." Hayley ruffles Patrick's hair and pats Pete on the shoulder before making her way to the living room, leaving Pete alone with Patrick.

Pete keeps his eyes on the plate, cutting the pancake into small pieces. He doesn't know how to face Patrick. After the incident the other night and a few minutes ago, Pete can't bring himself to look at Patrick in the eye without wanting to kiss him. The walk in the park just confirmed his feelings for the younger man even more.

The kitchen echoes with the click sound of the stove being turned off. Pete swallows, nervous.

"Pete?"

"Yeah?" Pete still keeps his eyes down, fork cutting the pancake a little too deep.

"C- Can I go with Hayley? To, uh, the grocery store?" Pete can hear Patrick's voice shaking with nerves. "I- I promise I won't talk to any strangers, and-"

Pete feels like he just got stabbed in the heart with a knife. Or guilt. Patrick clearly hasn't forgotten about the night at the club.

"Yeah. Sure." His heart flutters when he raises his head to see Patrick's beaming face. Patrick rushes towards him, giving him a quick hug before dashing out to tell Hayley the news. "Thanks, Pete!"

A shuddering breath escapes Pete after Patrick leaves. It's getting harder every second for Pete to keep himself under control. He finishes his breakfast and makes his way to the car, ready to start his day. While waiting for the engine to warm up, he pulls out his phone.

_To: Hayley_  
_07:35:30_  
_Keep an eye on him_

He shakes his head and deletes the text. He doesn't want to be the controlling person he was weeks ago. He wants to be a better person for Patrick. He's learned his lesson, after all.

_To: Hayley_  
_07:36:07_  
_Take care of him_

-

Pete stretches on his chair, groaning as his bones creaked. It's finally lunch time. Joe and Andy aren't coming in today to drag him out for lunch. Hopefully.

As he's about to close his eyes for a short nap, his phone rings. He reaches for his phone, surprised to find Hayley's name on the screen. Panic and fear begins to fill him. _Did something happen to Patrick at the mansion? At the store? Is Patrick missing?_

"Hayley, did some-"

_"Peeeeeeete!"_

Pete blinks in confusion. "Patrick?"

Patrick's giggles come through the speaker, and Pete can't help the smile that's forming on his face.

_"Pete! Pete! Pete, guess what?"_

"You're baking pies with Hayley again?" Pete teases him. He knows just how much Patrick loves pies.

_"No! Guess again!"_

It's fun and refreshing for Pete to see -or hear- Patrick this playful. "Pancakes?"

_"Good God, Pete. One more try."_

Pete hums out loud, thinking. "Did you get something at the store?"

 _"Almost!"_ Patrick exclaims, excitement evident in his voice. _"Pete! I got a date tonight!"_

Time seems to slow down for Pete as he processes Patrick's words. _'I got a date tonight!'_

_"Pete! I'm so excited! I've never been on a date in my entire life! We're meeting at a restaurant later at eight. I really want you to come with and see her!"_

_Her._  Patrick's going on a date with a _woman._

_"Come home early, okay? I need your help for my first date. Oh, hold on. Hayley wants to talk. See you later, Pete."_

_"Pete? It's Hayley. Are- are you okay?"_

Patrick. On a date. With a woman.

Pete's still in disbelief. "Patrick's going on a date tonight?"

_"Y- yeah. I'm sorry, Pete. I can't just tell him that he can't go on the date. I know you want to keep the relationship a secret from him."_

Pete sighs and piches the bridge of his nose. He doesn't want Patrick to fall in love with someone else. But a small part of him wants Patrick to move on from him if it means that Patrick doesn't have to suffer like he did before when he gets his memories back.

_"If it's any consolation, I think the woman's nice."_

That makes it even worse. He's having an inner conflict inside him. If she's nice, then there's a high chance that Patrick will be in a relationship with her.

And Pete. Pete doesn't want Patrick to be with anyone else but him. The possessive part in him growls at the thought of Patrick with someone else.

_"Pete? You there?"_

He doesn't think he'll be able to handle seeing Patrick going on a date. "Yeah. I'm here. That's, uh, that's great. I'm happy for him."

_"Pete…"_

"I have to go now. I've got a lot of work." Before Hayley can say her goodbye, Pete has already ended the call.

He leans forward on his desk and buries his head in his hands, groaning. Maybe he can give Patrick an excuse so he doesn't have to see Patrick with his date.

-

_11 p.m.._

It's late enough, Pete thinks. Sure, Patrick's probably going to be pissed at him, but as long as he can avoid talking about Patrick's date, anything's fine by him.

Besides, he's already used to Patrick's wrath and fury. There's nothing he can't handle.

He pushes the front door open slowly, peeking in to see the area empty. He enters the mansion and closes the door carefully behind him, and begins making his way to the bedroom.

"You're late."

Pete almost jumps at the sudden voice. He places a hand over his racing heart and turns around, gulping when he finds Patrick by the archway, arms crossed.

And, _damn_ does Patrick look fucking hot in an all-black attire.

"Where have you been?"

Pete has heard the question too many times before Patrick got into the accident, and the question is usually the starting of their too-many fights.

"Office. Work's piling." Pete winces, hoping this won't lead to a nasty fight.

Patrick regards him for a moment, eyeing him and not saying anything. After a few seconds, he finally opens his mouth. "I want you to be honest, Pete."

"I really was." Pete says quietly. From his experience, the louder his voice gets, the more defensive he gets, the higher the chance for his night to end with yet another shouting match.

"I wasn't talking about that."

Pete creases his forehead, confused.

Patrick shakes his head. "Pete, you told me we're roommates, right?"

"Yeah." Pete wipes his sweaty palms on his pants. _Shit_. He knew he should've just spent the night at the office. "What's wrong?"

"The maids told me we're dating."

Pete's eyes widen, heart thumping wildly against his chest. _Shit, shit, shit._ His brain can't think up of anything to say. He tries to tear his gaze away from Patrick's unreadable one, but he feels like he's paralyzed in place, feet frozen, unable to move.

"Be honest, Pete. Are we really dating each other?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave some comments!


	10. Chapter 10

"Well?" Patrick's voice is calm, but Pete knows the situation is anything but calm. All of their previous fights started with Patrick's chilly tone and Pete's nonchalant answer, followed by Patrick getting pissed off, Pete riling him up even further, and then the shouting match would begin.

Pete doesn't want to go through everything again.

"Pete, I'm not going to be mad. I just want to know the truth."

Even though Patrick shows no signs of anger, just curiosity, Pete still chooses to keep his mouth shut, eyes darting elsewhere. Maybe if he keeps it up long enough, Patrick would give up and go to bed, and when morning comes, they would pretend this talk didn't happen.

"Pete…" Patrick sighs, dropping his arms to his sides, and Pete almost feels guilty. Patrick only wants answer from him, yet he won't give Patrick it when he's promised himself to give anything Patrick needs.

Pete's silence apparently has stretched long enough, because Patrick is moving towards him, standing straight in front of him. Pete keeps his eyes fixed on the wall on the other side of the room. One glance at Patrick, and he knows he's going to spill everything.

Pete can hear his heart beat loud in his chest when Patrick places his fingers under his chin, turning his head so they're now looking into each other's eyes. "I'm not mad, Pete," Patrick says softly, hand falling down to his side. "If- if it's really true, that you and I are together, then okay. I just want to know why you didn't tell me this from the beginning."

"I'm sorry," Pete blurts out before he can stop himself. "I don't want you to feel like you're being forced into this." _You've had enough of that in your life._

"I told them I was going on a date tonight…" Patrick looks down on the floor, voice getting quieter, "…and I felt like a fool when they told me we're actually dating each other."

"I'm sorry…" Pete apologizes once again. He knows how excited Patrick was for getting a date, and now that this happens…

Patrick steps forward into Pete's space, resting his forehead on Pete's shoulder. Pete tenses up at the action, but quickly relaxes. He gingerly places his hands around Patrick, and when Patrick makes no reaction, Pete tightens his hold.

Pete doesn't realize how much he misses holding the younger man. Sure, there was that one time when they were holding hands, but that's just it. He misses the contact, the touch, the warmth, the heat. The affection. The love.

He misses everything about Patrick.

"Pete, please don't lie to me again." Patrick mumbles lowly against his shoulder as Pete continues to hold him.

"I won't, okay? I promise. I'm sorry."

They stay in the position for a few more seconds before Patrick starts to speak again. "Is there anything else you're keeping from me?"

Pete pulls him closer, burying his face into his shoulder, and shakes his head slowly. There's so much he wants to tell Patrick- about him being kicked out of his family, about the previous nature of their relationship- but he doesn't want to ruin this second chance of a proper relationship with Patrick. Pete isn't willing to risk anything.

"No. There's nothing else."

-

"You're up early." Pete greets the younger man and hides his smile behind his mug of coffee at Patrick's glare. He's used to Patrick's crankiness when he hasn't had his first serving of coffee of the day.

He pours hot coffee into a clean mug and hands it to Patrick, who takes it gratefully and slides into the seat in front of Pete. "Do you have any plans today?" Pete asks.

"I'm going out with Hayley later," Patrick replies and blows on his coffee, "Buying some gardening stuff. I think she's teaching me gardening later."

Patrick's tone is getting increasingly ecstatic with each word, and Pete smiles at him. Patrick's learning so much in just a few weeks. "Are you actually getting the tools or _a date?_ "

Pete laughs at Patrick's flushed face. "S- Shut up, Pete."

They never really talk about what happened the other night, but it's been established that they'll just see where it goes. Pete's fine with it. The last thing he wants to do is to push Patrick.

"Have fun gardening later." Pete says as he dumps his empty mug into the sink and washes his hands. Patrick is drinking his coffee by the time Pete turns around, and Pete pats him by the shoulder before leaving the kitchen. "I'll get going now."

Hayley hasn't come yet, along with the other maids, but Pete trusts Patrick can take care of himself until the other comes. That's one among many other things Pete's learned. He wants to show Patrick that he trusts him- by leaving him alone and giving him his well-deserved privacy.

"Pete, wait."

Pete pauses by the door and turns around, seeing Patrick make his way to him. "You should really learn how to tie properly."

Patrick tugs him forward by the tie, causing Pete to choke on air a little, and begins to undo the tie before tying it back. Pete's face cracks into a smile as he stands still, reveling in the presence of the younger man. "I don't need to now that you're here," he grins.

Patrick glances up at him and smirks before pulling hard on the tie playfully, earning another choke out of Pete. "You weren't this smooth a few weeks ago."

"W- Well, I wasn't… I wasn't sure how we were back then," Pete stutters with his confession, a nervous smile on his face. Just a week before then, they were screaming in each other's faces. And now, weeks later, they're smiling and laughing and even flirting with each other.

"Well, have fun at work today." Patrick pats his chest when he's done, smiling warmly. Pete's nerves are tingling, happiness spreading all over inside him. How can he _not_ miss this during the months they were fighting?

He leans down, intending to kiss him on his forehead, when Patrick tilts his head up, which results in Patrick kissing his nose instead. Pete barks out into laughter at Patrick's red face, and he kisses his nose in return.

"Well, that's not awkward," Patrick comments, laughing lightly as he shoves Pete away. "You're going to be late, Pete."

"I'll see you when I get back." Pete grins, pinching Patrick's nose and hurrying out the door before he can hear any of Patrick's protests.

His interaction with Patrick that morning brings a smile on Pete's face the entire day. Even Gabe stops by his office to ask him if he's okay. Pete just laughs him off, making Gabe even more confused than before he asked the question.

Pete has never been more in a good mood than ever. His relationship with Patrick is good again- something he thought would never happen. It's almost as if the bad months were just nightmares that he's just woken up from.

Everything from the moment Patrick lost- _repressed_ being the exact term- his memories up until this very second is like the heaven is giving Pete a second chance to have a shot at his relationship with Patrick once again.

And Pete's definitely not going to take it for granted.

He's not going to repeat his mistakes. He's going to treat Patrick right, listen to him, spend time with him, and if they're having a fight? They're going to talk it out. They're going to work everything out, and Pete's going to make Patrick the happiest person on Earth.

And when the time comes, Pete's going to propose to him.

He already has a ring picked out a year ago, only waiting for the right time to pop the question. Of course, the question was pushed far to the back of his mind months later.

But now, Pete's more than ready, he's sure of his feelings more than ever before, and he's only waiting for the younger man to develop his feelings for him again. Pete's willing to wait, no matter how long it takes. He knows everything's going to be worth it in the end. Patrick's worth the wait.

"Pete! You're back!" Patrick greets him, a big smile on his face as he pulls him inside by the hand, dragging him to where Pete assumes is the backyard. "We're having barbecue for dinner. Come on."

Pete lets himself be dragged by Patrick, and soon, Hayley's there with them, dragging both of them faster to outside. He watches in content as the two engage themselves in their conversation. And between Patrick's happy laughter and Hayley's excited chatter, Pete thinks, _yeah, this is it._

_It finally feels like home._

-

Pete leans forward in his chair, Gabe sitting next to him, as he pushes an opened file towards his client, keeping him updated with their progress. They're going up for a hearing tomorrow, and both Pete and Gabe are going through every details to make sure everything's prepared.

"So, what we're gonna do is-" Pete is interrupted when his phone goes off in the meeting room. He shoots the client an apologetic look and reaches for his phone to end the call, not even bothering to look at the name. "Sorry about that. Anyway, we're going to-"

His phone rings once again, and this time, he knows something's not quite right. Everyone who has Pete in their contacts knows that when he rejects a call, that means he's in a meeting, and they would usually call him back in a few hours later, not in the span of a few _seconds_.

He glances at his phone, Hayley's name flashing on the screen. Or it could just be Patrick eager to tell him something. He raises one finger up, mouthing a _'one second'_ , then answers his ringing phone. "Hey, I'm in a meeting right-"

_"P- Pete, Patrick's missing! I went to the kitchen for a while and when I returned, he's gone! The front door was opened! I- I don't know what happened-"_

A chill runs up his spine at Hayley's shaken voice. "Patrick _what?_ "

_"Patrick's gone. I don't know where he is right now! I- I swear, Pete, I only left him alone for like five minutes! Pete, I- I'm really sorry about this. I know I should've looked after him and I get it if I'm f-fired-"_

"Hayley, breathe." Pete says firmly, trying to get her to calm down even when he himself is freaking out on the inside. Patrick _can't_ go outside unsupervised. The last time he did that- Pete stops before the thought can finish itself. _Patrick will be fine this time._ "Go find him. I'll get Joe and Andy to help."

_"O- okay. I'll call you if I found him."_

He lets out a shaky breath when the call ends, his hands are now cold in sweat. His mind is racing with unpleasant thoughts- coming up with various situations that involve _Patrick_ and _accidents_. He survived the first one, but what if this time, _he doesn't?_

"Pete!"

Pete's shaken out of his thoughts at Gabe's voice, and he turns to see concerned looks plastered on the client's and Gabe's faces. "Hey, you okay?"

Pete wants to take the rest of the day off to find Patrick, but he doubts he's able to. They really need to settle everything for the trial tomorrow, and he still has a lot of work to do- and _that's_ when it hits him like a ton of bricks.

 _Patrick_ is his priority now, not his _work_.

Pete shakes his head and stands up as he starts to pack his stuff. "Patrick's missing. I need to find him. Sorry, Gabe, but I'll work overnight to finish-"

"Pete," Gabe stops him, placing a hand on his elbow, catching Pete's attention. There's a small smile on Gabe's otherwise worried face, and he nods in understanding. "Go find Patrick. I'll handle everything from here."

Pete pauses to stare at Gabe, gratitude shining in his eyes. "Thanks. I really owe you this."

-

Pete has gone around the town for two hours now, and there's still not a single trace of Patrick. He'd enlisted Joe's and Andy's help as soon as he got out of the meeting room, but still they haven't found him. The unfortunate luck goes to Hayley too. Hayley must have been feeling distraught and guilty about it, so Pete makes a reminder to himself to tell Hayley that it's not her fault.

Hayley has done so much for him and Patrick and has stuck so long since Pete lost his family that he considers Hayley as his family, too.

He immediately steps on his brake when he sees the missing man standing still in the middle of the sidewalk. He parallel parks next to the sidewalk and dashes out of his car.

"Oh, fuck, thank God you're okay." The words stumble out of Pete's mouth as he pulls Patrick into his arms, hugging him tight. "I thought I was going to lose you again."

There aren't that many people walking on the streets, so Pete doesn't mind if he's making a scene. He pulls away and holds Patrick at an arm's length, eyes scanning his body for any injuries. When he finds none, he looks back to his face, heart clenching at Patrick's blank expression. "Patrick…?"

"I feel something." Patrick mumbles, staring ahead, unblinking. Pete swallows and brings him to the side so they're not blocking the way. "What do you mean?"

"I had a dream last night…" Patrick continues and looks down at his hands. "I dreamt here. I dreamt I was here. But I can't remember what I was doing."

Patrick is quiet again, eyebrows knitted- like he's trying to focus on something. Pete takes the time to send a text to Hayley, Joe, and Andy that Patrick's with him. He pockets his phone and sighs in relief. Patrick's safe and sound now. That's all that matters.

When he turns around to guide Patrick back to his car, that's when he sees a familiar building- a restaurant where Joe always eats at.

_"I- I don't know. I was at the restaurant, and there was, this- this loud crash and everyone went outside, and I tried to look, and- and I saw Patrick. Laying on the ground, bleeding…"_

He quickly looks away, not wanting to be reminded of the incident. "Let's go home."

Patrick is silent during the entire ride, staring off into space as Pete keeps his eyes on the road, all the while trying to push away the heavy feeling in his stomach. _Are Patrick's memories returning?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna focus on this one in the mean time. There are around 3-4 chapters left :D
> 
> Leave some comments!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I combined two chapters into this, so enjoy!
> 
> (ps if you feel like there's a reference to another story, that's because there is)

When they reach home, Pete brings them into the kitchen, where Hayley is already waiting anxiously, pacing back and forth by the island. As soon as she notices the other two, she immediately runs towards Patrick, engulfing him in a tight hug.

"Don't scare me like that again! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"S- Sorry," Patrick apologizes, hugging her back before letting go. "I didn't realize what was happening. It was like my legs were moving on their own."

Pete exchanges confused looks with Hayley. "What happened?"

"I- I don't know," Patrick answers truthfully, sitting on the chair Pete just pulled out for him while Hayley's preparing drinks for them. "It was like- like something's calling me, prompting me to go there. I don't even know what's so special about that place. But it was in my dream. I've seen it a few times before."

That takes Pete by surprise. "When did the dreams start?"

Patrick is silent for a moment, fingers twitching like he's counting days. "Three, four days. A week ago, I think. They were all really weird. There was that one time I was by a roadside. It was really dark, and there were no cars around. I was just standing there in all of the dreams. It's really weird."

Patrick's talking about the first time they were about to meet. Pete gulps and glances over to Hayley, who shrugs nervously in return. If Patrick remembers everything, who knows what's going to happen? Pete certainly doesn't want to find out.

"How did you get there, by the way?" Pete asks, hoping he can distract Patrick from thinking about his dreams again.

Patrick's eyes light up, smiling widely. "Someone asked me if I needed a ride. But his car wasn't exactly… _clean_ though. There were spills everywhere, and it smelled horrible."

Hayley turns to him, raising an eyebrow. "Is it a yellow car?"

"Yeah! There was, like, a row of them, and they all walked me to their cars!"

A small chuckle escapes Pete's mouth. Patrick was taking the taxi then. "Wait. Did you bring any money with you?"

"Uh, no?" Patrick shakes his head. "Why?"

"Well, how did you pay them then?" Hayley crosses her arms, tilting her head in question.

"Wait, we're supposed to _pay_ them?"

Both Pete and Hayley burst into laughter and trap Patrick between them in a hug, and all of Pete's previous worries are forgotten in the mean time.

"No wonder he was shouting at me! I thought he was just rude!"

-

Patrick doesn't have any recurring dreams after that, at least, not that Pete knows of, but he starts talking about his dreams. Sometimes, when they're having breakfast before Pete goes to work, Patrick would tell him the dream he had the night before. Pete listens to each and every one of them, partly because he likes seeing an animated Patrick.

 _"There was this_ huge _dolphin giving swimming lessons to an elephant, but it sucked. The both sucked. The elephant was a terrible swimmer. And the dolphin was an even more terrible teacher!"_

 _"The cloud was pink! And it tasted like cotton candy! And when it got too big, it rained marshmallows!_ Marshmallows, _Pete!"_

 _"The gingerbread men were_ real _, Pete! They chopped my hand off!"_

_"-then you fell out from the window, and then we're at your funeral, and Joe was shredding his guitar on top of your coffin, and then you came back to life!"_

Pete loves every one of them.

When he gets back from work one day, he spots Patrick in the living room, face full of concentration as he stares at the flat screen in front of him. "What are you watching?"

Patrick lowers the volume and looks at Pete, raising his brows. "How long have you been standing there?"

"I just got back." Pete enters the living room and sits down next to him, turning the volume back up. The television is playing some gossip show- Pete never really watches the show before. If he has to be honest, he rarely watches the television. He only uses it to play games. "What were you watching?"

"This for the past hour." Patrick turns his attention back to the screen. "Did you know that the power couple is divorcing?"

"Power couple?" Pete creases his forehead in confusion. Who's the power couple? Are they a couple who have _Power_ as their last names or what? Which, come to think of it, what kind of a last name is Power?

"When was the last time you watched the news?" Patrick chuckles and shakes his head. "Anyway, the singer and the football player. They're getting a divorce."

Oh. Now Pete remembers. Patrick was obsessed with the singer before. He even went as far as learning how to play his music.

"It's probably just another rumour. I've heard of it a couple of years back." Pete shrugs. It was the _only_ thing the media reported then. Every channel, every newspaper, every magazine Pete had read, all of them featured rumours about the couple, and Pete got tired of them in just a week after the rumour hit the news. Honestly, the world doesn't revolve around them.

"It's not a rumour this time though. They're really getting a divorce." Patrick says quietly, shoulders drooped. "What a shame. I really like them. They looked so happy together."

"Did they say why?"

"Irreconcilable differences," Patrick mumbles, sounding a little sad. Pete stifles a smile at his expression. When the first divorce rumour came out years ago, Patrick was, weirdly, heartbroken. Even when Hayley had cooked him his favourite food, even when Pete flew them to his favourite places in the world, nothing could cheer Patrick up- until the couple confirmed themselves that they were not, in fact, getting divorced.

Pete had never been so relieved in his entire life. So was Hayley. And the maids. And Joe and Andy. And Gabe. Practically anyone who knows them.

"Well, there's a charity event this weekend. Do you want to come with?"

Patrick looks up at him, biting his lips and nodding eagerly, excitement showing on his face. "I've always heard of those kinds of events, but never been to one. What do people usually do?"

"A lot. They do auctions, dinner." Pete stands up and drags Patrick along with him, earning a questioning look from the younger man. "And sometimes, dance. It's going to be fun."

"I bet." Patrick laughs as they head towards Pete's bedroom, "I haven't danced in a long time. My parents made me take lessons, but that's just it. I'd either dance with the instructor or with my best friend."

"Do you still remember how to dance?" Pete cocks his head to look at Patrick.

Patrick looks back at him, smirking. "Waltz. Quickstep. Tango. Just name it."

"Oh?" Pete raises his brows, gaze challenging and a smile playing on his lips. "Let's put that to a test, shall we?"

When they've reached the bedroom, Pete turns on the record player. He looks back to see Patrick looking around the room, taking in the view with curious eyes.

"May I have this dance?" Pete bows in front of him, holding his hand out. Patrick smiles and places his hand in Pete's, and before he can place his other hand on Pete's back, Pete already beats him to it, leaving Patrick with no choice but to rest his hand on Pete's shoulder.

Pete gives him a wide grin and begins to lead the dance. It used to be a game between them- the person who puts his hand on the other's waist first gets to lead the dance. It took some time for both of them to get the hang of being led, but they enjoyed either way nevertheless.

He lets out a small chuckle when Patrick accidentally steps on his foot, flustered. "S- Sorry, I'm not used to being led in a dance before."

Although, Patrick has always been a fast-learner, and Pete gives him credit for that. In just less than five minutes, he's dancing just as well as he did last time.

Even when the song has stopped, Pete continues the dance. He continues to sway Patrick back and forth, twirl him around.

"Do you hear that?" Pete asks. Patrick purses his lips, straining his ears to hear, then shakes his head. "I hear nothing."

Pete smiles and spins Patrick before pulling him close. "They're playing our song."

"There's no song playing, Pete." Patrick glances up at him in amusement, lips quirking up into a smile. "Are you sure you heard something?"

"Of course there is."

"There's only silence." Patrick counters just as quick.

Pete plants a kiss on the top of Patrick's head, smiling to himself. "In silence, we can hear each other. Our souls meet, speak, listen, feel, and connect with each other. Our souls become one in silence. That's our song."

The dance is stopped as Patrick looks up at him, adoration in his eyes and rosy blush across his cheeks. Pete smiles, knocking their foreheads together.

"That's really beautiful, Pete." Patrick whispers as he hooks his hands behind Pete's neck. Pete only smiles in return before he closes the distance between them.

_"Do you hear that, Pete?" Patrick whispered in his ear. Pete hummed, shaking his head as he rested his cheek on the crown of Patrick's head. "What is it?"_

_"They're playing our song."_

_"There's no song playing, silly." Pete chuckled at his answer. Patrick had, out of the blue, pulled him into a dance minutes earlier with no background music, and Pete just rolled along with it. He liked spending time with Patrick._

_"Of course there is." Patrick countered, tilting his head upwards and kissing the corner of Pete's mouth, smiling. "In silence, we can hear each other. Our souls meet, speak, listen, feel, and connect with each other. Our souls become one in silence. That's our song."_

Patrick has his fingers tangled in Pete's hair as Pete slowly backs him up until they reach the bed, then gently pushes Patrick down. He watches Patrick's eyes darken, just like the other night.

The room feels hot to Pete, and it's too silent between them- the only sound audible is their heavy breathing. Patrick is sitting on the bed, chest heaving up and down in slow rhythm, and he's looking up at Pete, waiting.

Pete wants to kiss him again, wants to nibble on his bottom lip until it bruises, wants to hear all the sounds he's missed over the months, wants to explore his body and get reacquainted with everything all over again.

But there's a small part in him that tells him to stop before everything goes further. _They're moving too fast. They still don't know where they stand in the relationship._

Pete's still debating with himself when Patrick makes the first move. He grabs Pete's hands, lacing their fingers together, and tugs him forward until Pete has to bend down in front of him, their faces only inches apart.

"Don't think too much," Patrick whispers, letting go of Pete's hand to rest on his cheek and kissing him. The small voice in Pete's head disappear altogether, and Pete finally melts into the kiss.

He gets on the bed as Patrick lies down, pulling Pete on top of him by the collar, not breaking the kiss. Pete's senses are on fire by this point- his skin sears from where Patrick is touching him, his nostrils flare with his heavenly scent, his ear drums vibrate with every single sound Patrick makes. Pete's overwhelmed with them all.

When they pull away to breathe, he places a hand on Patrick's cheek, stroking gently with his thumb. Up until now, Pete can still feel the stinging pain in his palm from hitting Patrick on that night. It was the worst moment of his life. Pete had never thought that he would ever hit Patrick.

And as much as he loves Patrick, he doesn't want his memories to return. He doesn't want Patrick to remember all the bad things between them. He doesn't want Patrick to leave him again.

"Have we done this before?" Patrick asks softly, breaking the silence in the room. Pete looks into his eyes, nodding. "We don't have to do anything you don't want."

Patrick relaxes into Pete's touch, breathing out slowly. "I do. I want this. Just- please be gentle?"

Pete moves back a little to see the vulnerability in Patrick's eyes, emotions showing themselves to Pete. Fear. Adoration. Anticipation. Desire. Warmth floods his chest at the trust Patrick gives him, and he leans in to kiss him.

"I won't hurt you." And Pete means it in every way.

-

Pete is fixing his cuffs in the living room while waiting for Patrick to get ready. Tonight's the night of the charity event. Pete hasn't been to any formal events for a while now- back then, he tried to avoid any situations or events that required him to go together with Patrick. He'd much rather spend his time in the confines of his office in silence than with Patrick, because he knew they would only fight in the end anyway.

His gaze travels towards the hallway when he hears the sound of someone clearing his throat. His breath is taken away at the sight of Patrick in his own formal attire.

He almost forgets that Patrick's actually from an upper-class family. Having learning proper manners and etiquette at such a young age, so of course Patrick opts for the classic look, as opposed to Pete's modern one.

Instead of wearing a tie like Pete, Patrick has a black bow tie on, which matches his black vest and suit. His hair is parted at the side and slicked, the longer length swept over the top and back.

In short, Patrick looks _absolutely_ _dashing._ Pete should really start accepting any invitations to formal events from now on if it means that he gets to see this high-class side of Patrick again.

"Believe it or not, I actually miss wearing formal attire," Patrick smiles as he fiddles with his bow tie. "Last time I wore something like this was during my father's birthday celebration."

"Well, you look good," Pete compliments him, extending an arm towards Patrick. "Shall we?"

"We shall."

-

"Do you want something to drink?" Pete asks as soon as they step into the venue. The hall is crowded, filled with people socializing with one another, but the music from the orchestra ensemble can still be heard from over the noises.

"Yes, please. Thank you."

The corner of Pete's mouth quirks up into a smile at Patrick's polite and courteous answer, and he leaves to get them their drinks. Their surrounding is like a switch to Patrick. The moment Patrick's in a formal environment, all his manners and etiquette are on full display.

As he takes the glasses from the waiter, Gabe appears from behind him, nodding in greeting. "Glad to see you here, Wentz. Where's Patrick? I wanna say hi to him."

"He's over there," Pete nods to the direction where Patrick is currently talking to someone. "But he doesn't remember you, so just pretend you're meeting him for the first time."

"Yeah, yeah. Sure. Just bring me to him." Gabe shoves Pete gently. Pete rolls his eyes at him, but walks them to Patrick anyway.

Patrick and his conversational partner spot them from a few feet away, and they smile at each other before parting ways. Pete hands Patrick his drink- he hides his grin just as Patrick thanks him once again- when Gabe sidles up next to him.

"Hello. You're Patrick, aren't you?" Gabe starts, grinning. The younger man smiles and holds his hand out for a handshake. "My apologies, I didn't get your name."

"Gabriel Saporta at your service," the taller man replies, accepting his handshake. "But you can call me Gabe."

"It's nice to meet you, Gabe." Patrick beams, "You're working together with Pete, aren't you? How long have you known each other?"

"Well, it _all_ started when-"

Happiness spreads in Pete's chest- he loves watching Patrick go all proper in events. It's not a surprise to him anymore, since Patrick's groomed to shine in social events. That's the first thing all the kids from the upper-class families had to learn before they could even read. Speaking from his own experience, of course.

While Gabe is talking to Patrick, Pete's having his own conversation with the other guests who come up to him. It's refreshing, to say the least. Both of them doing their own things, holding their own conversations, yet they're still together in a way.

After they're finished with their respective conversations, Pete finally has Patrick to himself, for a short while anyway. From the corner of his eyes, he spots a young woman walking towards them.

He met her in a couple of fundraising events before, without Patrick by his side. Miss Adams, he thinks her name is. They smiled and had a small conversation, but that's only it.

"That's Miss Adams. She loves to take parts in charity and fundraising events, especially if it involves sports or marathon." Pete gives a quick summary to Patrick, who listens intently and nods, then smiles when the woman approaches them.

"Mr Wentz," the woman nods and turns to Patrick. "And who is this fine young man?"

"Patrick Stumph," he introduces himself with a smile and a handshake. "You must be Miss Adams. Pete's told me about you."

"Nothing bad, I hope," the woman giggles, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear. "I wouldn't want to embarrass myself in front of a charming man."

Pete covers his mouth and pretends to cough to hide his laughter. It doesn't take a blind person to see that she's flirting with Patrick.

"Not as charming as you, of course. So, I heard you're a runner?"

Patrick strikes up a conversation with her, a warm smile present on his face. Instead of blind jealousy or boiling rage, Pete feels blooming pride instead. He doesn't mind if Patrick's being hit on, whether Patrick himself realizes it or not, because he knows he can trust Patrick. He likes to think that he's come a long way since that night at the club.

He then notices a group of ladies walk towards them, or more specifically, towards _Patrick._ Patrick regards them and introduces himself, easily slipping into conversations with them.

Yeah. Pete's definitely not going to miss any formal events from now on.

-

"I could really use some fresh air right now," Patrick whispers to him an hour later. Pete nods and navigates them outside, skillfully avoiding into bumping with other people.

People kept coming up to them, and Patrick, being the polite man that he is, never backs down from a conversation. Patrick had been talking to the other guests non-stop for the past hour, so it's about time that he's beginning to feel worn out. Pete takes Patrick's hand in his as they step outside to the cool night air.

"Finally," Patrick sighs and closes his eyes, a blissful smile on his face. Pete chuckles and stands close to him, providing warmth to both of them. "Tired?"

Patrick hums in affirmation, then tilts his head back, looking up at the dark sky above them, frowning a little. "It's a shame we can't really see the stars. I've always loved watching them. My best friend and I stargaze all the time, and sometimes, we'd try to identify any constellations. The person who can identify the most wins."

Pete smiles softly at the story and intertwines their fingers together. "After this, I'll take a couple of days off, then we'll go on a vacation. I'll bring you to the best place to watch the stars."

"And we can watch them all night long," Patrick continues, returning his smile and squeezing their hands.

"As long as you want."

Soon, they both fall into silence, but Pete enjoys it. The tranquility eases his mind and his heart, and it's been so long since he's felt this calm. But the feeling is short-lived when Patrick slips his hand from Pete's, and he immediately feels a twinging pain in his chest.

His instinct tells him something's not right, but he pushes it away. It's been nothing but a perfect night so far. He turns his head to look at Patrick beside him, but the man is gone.

"Mother! Father!" Patrick exclaims in happiness, running up towards a couple, leaving Pete alone by the sidewalk. _Shit._

Patrick's parents are mere feet away from them, both of them dressed up. _How can Pete forget?_ Of course the Stumph would get invited to the event as well.

Pete watches in horror as Patrick approaches them, completely oblivious to his own past. "I've missed you!"

"Who are you?"

"It- it's me, Patrick," he says, voice halting to a stutter, confused. "Your son. You- you let me go out, remember? To experience the outside world?"

The woman lets out an indignant snort. "What drugs are you on?"

Pete begins to sweat, heart palpitating. There's no way he can get out alive in this situation. If Patrick finds out the truth, if he finds out that Pete's lying to him again, then Pete's done for.

"We don't have an abomination for a son," the woman raises an eyebrow, nose wrinkled in disgust. "That's why you're _disowned_ , in case you've forgotten. How despicable more can you be for being- being _gay?_ "

The small gasp he hears from Patrick tears his heart in two. "I- I was disowned?"

Pete clenches his fists, his memory taking him back to the time when young Patrick- so young, only _nineteen_ \- crying and begging for his parents to take him back.

_"Please! I'm sorry! I- I'll do anything! Take me to camp, church, whatever, just- please- I'm begging you, please don't throw me out! I- I promise I'll change! Take me back, please!"_

He decides to intervene before things get worse. "That's enough. The only abomination I see here is you. It's his life, not yours."

"He brought shame to the Stumph's family name." 

"You're just an outsider. His _step_ mother." Pete fumes as he steps in front of Patrick to shield him. 

"I _carry_  the name." The woman replies with a firm voice, standing tall and strong against Pete.

"So does Patrick," Pete grits his teeth, holding back his anger. He can't afford to lose his anger here, especially with Patrick present. He doesn't want to scare off Patrick even more. "He has as much right to the name as you do, if not more. He's _born_ into the family."

"Yes, he _was_ born into the family, but he _is_ no longer one now." The woman says calmly, emphasizing the tenses. While they are talking, Pete notices that the patriarch doesn't even throw a side-glance to Patrick. In fact, he doesn't seem interested in the commotion at all.

"We haven't contacted in five years, and I'd like for that to continue for the rest of eternity."

"Wait." Patrick voices out suddenly, pushing Pete aside to face his parents. "What do you mean _five years?_ "

"Exactly what I said earlier. Now, don't even bother associate yourself with the Stumph, and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop using that name." She says with an air of finality in her voice as she spins around, nose high in the air. "Come, dear. Let's go back inside. The air here is suffocating me."

Pete can almost hear Patrick's heart shatter as he watches his parents walk away. He turns his head to the side, not willing to witness the heart-wrenching scene in front of him. This is not supposed to happen. Not when they're finally happy.

"Five years…"

Patrick's quiet voice puts a dagger to his heart. Stabbed, twisted, then pulled out. It repeats over and over again, and Pete can feel nothing but pure agony. "Patrick…"

"I lost five years of my life…"

Patrick has his back facing Pete, static and unmoving. Pete can't see his face, can't tell what emotion is in his eyes, and he can't tell what he's thinking.

Then, a few seconds later, Pete finally sees it: a movement from the younger man. His fingers are twitching slightly before they are clenched into tight balls of fists.

"Pete." Patrick turns around, stalking towards him with cold, hard eyes. "What else have you been keeping from me? What else did you lie about?"

"P- Patrick, calm down, please-"

" _What, Pete?!_ What lie are you giving me this time?!" Patrick explodes, bringing his fists up into Pete's shirt and shoving him to the nearby wall. This up close, Pete can see tears brimming in Patrick's eyes, and his throat constricts at the sight. "You promised. You promised you won't lie to me again. _And I trusted you._ "

Pete flinches at his words. _"I trusted you."_

"I want the _full_ truth, Pete." Patrick growls, fingers curled even more, the force so strong they almost tear through Pete's shirt. _"Now."_

Pete squeezes his eyes shut and clamps his mouth. He's not going to say anything. He knows how it's going to turn out in the end. If he tells everything, Patrick will be revolted with him and leave him. If he lies, Patrick will call out on his lie and leave him.

He can't make Patrick stay either way.

_"Now, Pete."_

When he opens his eyes to look at Patrick, his vision is blurred. He doesn't realize when he's started crying. "I- I can't. Patrick, I can't. I'm sorry," he shakes his head, voice choked with tears.

"You have no right to keep my memories from me," Patrick seethes, a drop of tear falling down his face. "They're _mine_ , Pete."

Patrick loosens his grip on Pete's shirt as he starts to sob, body wrecking along. "They're mine. _Please_ return them to me. _I beg you. Please._ "

Pete's heart has already shattered by this point, and the pieces continue to break even further into tiny shards as Patrick breaks down in front of him. _He can't let Patrick leave him again._  He shakes his head again, wiping his tears away with the sleeve of his jacket and stifling his own cries. "I- I can't. I'm sorry."

Just then, Patrick clutches his head, his fingers digging into his scalp as he lets out a strangled scream. Pete's eyes widen in alarm, and he reaches forward to untangle Patrick's fingers from his hair. "Patrick!"

His grip is too tight. Pete can't pull Patrick's hands away without leaving injuries on his scalp.

"Make it stop!" Patrick shouts as he staggers backward, eyes squeezed shut in pain.

Dread fills Pete when he realizes what's happening. _Patrick's memories are returning._

"Shut up! I'm not desperate!"

Pete knows what Patrick's talking about. He uttered those words to Patrick before. _"You're so desperate to find someone to fill the void in your non-existent heart, huh?"_

"I don't need you!"

 _"Face it. You_ need _me to survive. Without me, you're better off six feet under."_

"I'm not ruined!"

_"How does it feel knowing I ruined you for everyone?"_

Pete wants to take all those words back. He didn't mean any of them. He didn't mean _anything._ He just wanted Patrick to feel the pain that he caused Pete.

Time seems to stop for Pete when Patrick suddenly stills, who then raises his head slowly with wide eyes. "Y- You hit me."

Patrick's hands slide down to cup his cheek as he stares at Pete, hurt and fear in his eyes. Pete feels a twisting ache in his chest as the incident is replayed in his mind.

_"Does that make you feel good, Pete? How long have you been holding that in?"_

_"At least I didn't hit anyone."_

_"You're right. This is stupid. I'm done with this, with us."_

_"Fuck you, Wentz. You're just scared that you'll be living alone, with no one to sing you fucking lullabies when you're having your episodes. I'm leaving."_

_"Watch me."_

He takes a step forward, intending to pull him into his arms and comfort him and apologize to him, but Patrick backs away from him almost immediately. "P- Patrick, please… I- I didn't mean to-"

Patrick shakes his head slowly before turning on his heels, running away from Pete.

"Patrick!"

Pete dashes off after him, keeping his eyes locked onto Patrick's back, praying that he doesn't lose him in the darkness of the night and that Patrick will stop running soon. If he loses Patrick, then…

He throws the thought away. Nothing fatal will happen to Patrick if Pete gets to him first. He uses all his energy to catch up to Patrick and sprints when he's getting closer. He can't lose Patrick now. Not when they've come this far.

A glare of headlights from over his shoulders catch his attention, and he slows down when he hears the sound of screeching tires against asphalt. A car moves past him swiftly before swerving off the road and crashing into the person in the way.

_"Patrick!"_

-

Pete sits outside the emergency room, legs bouncing as he runs his fingers through his hair. Patrick has been in the room for about two hours now. Doctors and nurses go in and out, and every time the door opens, Pete tries to take a peek inside, but fails to see anything.

He slumps forward on his knees, head buried in his hands. He can't forget the way Patrick flew over the car upon impact and the sound of his body hitting the ground after. And the pool of blood surrounding him. _God, there was so much blood._

His white shirt is covered with Patrick's blood from when he cradled him in his arms while waiting for the ambulance to come. It had been hectic.

The car that hit Patrick crashed into the concrete wall of a building. A group of passersby helped to get the driver out, but Pete didn't know, _doesn't_ know the condition of the driver now.

The driver and Patrick were each immediately loaded into the two ambulances that arrived ten minutes later. Pete stayed with Patrick the entire time, and he could only watch helplessly as the paramedics assessed him, only answering questions when asked by them.

When they had arrived at the hospital, Patrick was wheeled quickly to the emergency room. Pete tried to go in, too, but the paramedics pushed him to the side and made him wait in the waiting room, where he's currently at now.

He runs his fingers through his hair once again and looks up when he sees Gabe running towards him.

"I- I heard," Gabe pants as he stops in front of Pete. "I got here as fast as I can."

Pete goes back to slouching, fingers pressing against his temples and feet tapping on the floor. Gabe must've heard from the people on the streets. The hall where the event was held isn't far from where the accident happened.

"How long has he been in there?"

"Two hours," Pete mumbles. _Two agonizing, excruciating hours._

"Shit, Pete," Gabe curses, turning in his seat to look at him. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? I could've come sooner."

The thing is, Pete can't think of anyone or anything else but Patrick at the moment. His mind is preoccupied with the thoughts of the younger man. He will never forgive himself if Patrick didn't make it through the operation.

He tugs on his hair harshly, forcing the thought out of his head. _Patrick will make it._

But there was so much blood.

His pulse was too faint.

He was barely breathing.

But he looked serene. As if he weren't crying or shouting minutes before. He looked like an angel ready to fly home after a grueling mission on Earth.

He has always thought that the only reason Patrick suffers so much is because he can't find his home. He can't find his way back.

Because his home isn't on Earth or with Pete.

He's stuck in the purgatory, going round and round, looking for the comfort of his own home, longing after years of being lost.

At least, this time, Patrick is able to finally find his way home.

"Pete, breathe, man."

Gabe is shaking him by the shoulder, pulling him out of his reverie. Pete slouches even more and covers his face with his hands, biting his lips to refrain any sobs from coming out. His eyelids are burning, and he feels like crying again.

Patrick can't leave. Patrick's _his_ home.

"Do Joe and Andy know about this?"

His throat is too painful for him to talk, so he just shakes his head in reply. He hears Gabe sigh, and the hand on his shoulder is removed. "Give me your phone. I'll call them."

He passes his phone to Gabe, who proceeds to call their friends. His eyes flit over to the emergency room every few seconds, wishing the door would open soon, revealing a doctor with a smile on his face, bearing good news.

"Hey, Hurley. Yeah, it's Gabe. Come to the hospital now. Yeah, no, Pete's fine. Just get Trohman and come here. And bring a clean shirt with you."

Andy comes not too long after, followed by Joe. He hands Pete the shirt when he sees the blood-stained shirt Pete's wearing. Pete gives him a mumbled _'thanks'_ before he goes off to change in the restroom.

An hour passes, and Pete gets restless even more- pacing up and down the hallway, sitting down only to stand back up, eyes flicking between the emergency room to the hospital staff rushing in the hallway.

_Three hours. What is taking them so long?_

Are there complications? Minor? Major? How major?

"Pete, calm down," Andy says after Pete stands up for the umpteenth time in the span of an hour. "Pacing won't make time go faster."

 _Calm down?_ Pete grits his teeth and pulls Andy up by the collar. "Calm down? Patrick's in there for three hours now, and you're telling me to _calm down?_ "

"Pete, you're making a scene," Joe says quietly, trying to diffuse the situation, but Pete ignores him as he continues to glare at his friend, who maintains a calm gaze.

"You weren't there to see how he got hit by a car. You weren't there to see how much blood he'd lost. You weren't there to see how fucking close he was to _death_ ," Pete spits, fury in his eyes, then shoves Andy away. "You weren't there for everything, so don't tell me to calm down."

He turns around and makes his way to the restroom, still pissed at Andy's words. _How dare he tells him to calm down?_

He slams the door open, startling a few people inside. When he realizes he's being stared at, he bares his teeth. "Take a picture. It'll last longer."

They scurry out of the restroom, some grumbling and glaring at him on their way out. Once alone, he leans over the sink, opening the tap and washing his face with the cool water.

"You know Hurley was just trying to help."

Pete grunts in return. He turns off the tap and yanks the paper towel from its dispenser, drying his hands.

"Pete," Gabe sighs. "Patrick's going to be fine. He's in safe hands now. The doctor will make sure he's-"

"Can you shut the fuck up?" Pete snaps, anger flaring in his chest again as he tosses the rolled-up paper towel into a nearby trashcan. "Don't say anything you're unsure of until the doctor comes out and tells me himself that Patrick's okay. Just _shut up._ "

He walks past the taller man, shoulders brushing against each other, and leaves the restroom feeling angrier than before. How can everyone easily say that? How can everyone assume that Patrick will come out _alive?_ How can everyone stay _optimistic_ while Patrick's _fighting for his life?_

Pete's back to slumping in his seat again, bouncing his knee as he checks his watch every five minutes. No one dares to approach him, and Pete's thankful for it. He's not in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment.

When it's finally half an hour later, Pete stands up straight when the door to the emergency room opens, the doctor walking out in his scrubs.

"H- how's he? How's Patrick? Is he okay?" Pete immediately asks, anticipation building in him.

"He lost a lot of blood." The doctor looks at him as he answers. "There was a bleeding in his brain, but we managed to get it under control. We did a scan on him, and we found that his femur is fractured, and that there are tears in his knee ligaments." The doctor finishes off with a sympathetic look.

Shocked, Pete's legs give out as he falls down on a chair, eyes wide. He may not understand some medical terms, but he's worked on enough cases to know what the doctor is implying. "He… he can't walk?"

"No, not in a few months, but if he enters an extensive rehab process, it might speed up his recovery."

The rest of the doctor's words fall onto his deaf ears right after the word _"No"_ is said. Patrick can't walk. And it's all his fault.

"We've inserted a traction into his thigh, so when he wakes up, we should be able to start the surgery for his femur."

_Patrick can't walk._

"We're going to move him into the ICU in the mean time. I don't know when he'll wake up, but you can come visit him tomorrow."

_And it's all his fault._

"Pete…?" Joe's concerned voice enter his ears. The doctor has already left them after the explanation. "Are you okay?"

"Patrick can't walk…" Pete murmurs, his voice on the verge breaking. "And it's all my fault…"

Andy sits down next to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's not your fault, Pete. You didn't know."

"If we didn't step out of the hall, if we didn't go to the event, he wouldn't get in an accident," Pete continues to mumble to himself.

"Pete," Andy says in a firm voice, pulling him so they're face-to-face, but Pete keeps his gaze downwards. "It's _not_ your fault. Patrick is _alive_. Let's go home, and we'll see him again tomorrow."

Andy moves to stand up with Joe and Gabe, and they're all waiting for Pete to move. He finally gives in after throwing one last look at the emergency room door.

When Patrick wakes up, Pete will explain everything from the beginning. He won't let Patrick go this time.

-

Even when Pete gets home, he still doesn't feel the slightest bit relieved. He needs to make sure Patrick's okay with his own two eyes.

He's too caught up with his inner turmoil that he hasn't called Hayley to break the news to her. He realizes, eventually, but he doesn't want to bother her on her day off and at 4 in the morning.

And just like last time, Patrick doesn't wake up within the first few days. He knows that Patrick usually takes a long time to heal, but the longer he's unconscious, the more anxious Pete feels.

On the fourth day- or maybe it's the sixth, Pete has lost count-, Pete rises up from his seat when he sees the doctor walk out of Patrick's room. "Is he awake?"

"Yes, he is, but-"

Just hearing the word ' _yes'_ from the doctor is enough of a confirmation for Pete to run to the direction of Patrick's room. He needs to see Patrick. He needs to explain everything.

He needs to save what's left of their relationship before it completely turns to ashes.

"Sir, please, wait!"

Pete ignores him and continues to dash to Patrick's room. He's not going to wait any second longer. He's waited long enough for this moment.

"I'm sorry. Patrick, I'm sorry for not telling you everything. I'm sorry for keeping things from you even when I promised I wouldn't, and I'm sorry for lying. I'm sorry I refused to tell you that night. You were right. I have no right to keep them from you, so I'll tell you anything you want to know." Pete rambles as soon as he gets into the room and stands at the foot of Patrick's bed.

While he's catching his breath, he takes in the younger man's appearance. His head is wrapped with bandages, and his broken leg is propped up and attached to ropes and pulleys. And he's looking paler- like the first time they met.

"I- I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss you, Patrick." He continues after he doesn't pant every few seconds. He gazes at Patrick, longing for the other man's smile and touch, and takes a deep breath- it's now or never.

"And I love you. I don't care if we're going too fast or not, I want you to know that I love you. I don't want to lose you anymore. I'm willing to do anything, as long as you forgive me. I don't want to lose you again. I _never_ meant to say those things to you. I- I love you. I love you so much, Patrick."

His voice softens at the end of his sentence, tender, just like what he's feeling at the moment as he looks into Patrick's eyes. He's willing to bare everything - their past, the toxicity and the dark side of their relationship,  _anything_ \- as long as he can have Patrick by his side again. A moment of silence passes by between them, and his heart pounds erratically in his chest when Patrick finally opens his mouth. "Why?"

Pete pauses at his question, slightly perplexed. "What do you-"

"Why would you say you love me? I don't even know you."

The world seems to crash down on Pete when he hears the words come out of Patrick's mouth. This is probably a joke. Patrick is probably playing a game on him.

Pete laughs nervously, ignoring the lump in his throat, which seems to get bigger with each passing second. _Patrick can't forget him again._ "Y- You can stop the game now, Patrick. Y- You got me."

His laughter ceases when Patrick continues to stare at him, eyebrows pulled together and the same frown on his lips. _Patrick isn't joking._

Pete's eyes start to sting, and he blinks back the tears from falling. "P- Patrick… it- it's me. Pete. R- Remember? We- we live together. With Hayley. You- you like pies and pancakes. And we- we're friends with Joe and Andy, remember?"

Patrick doesn't say anything. His face is blank, eyes vacant and void of emotion, and that's it. That's all it takes for Pete to drop to his knees, head bowed down and body trembling with silent sobs as tears run down his face.

_Patrick lost his memories again._

"I'm sorry, Patrick… I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gets stabbed*
> 
> I was discussing about Never Lit A Match with someone, seeing that there are some readers who prefer if the story ended in a different way. Feel free to join in and read the post or give your own opinion on my tumblr @ quantumous.tumblr.com (or if you just want to say hi, that's fine too!)
> 
> Leave some comments!


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